Perspective
by Sanssong
Summary: With the Wraith baring down on them, a suspicious Sgt. Bates and a host of misunderstandings, can John and Teyla change their perspective and find love?
1. Chapter 1

**Title- Perspective  
**Author- Suzanne  
Rating-T+ (for some mild language)  
Part 1 of ?  
Pairing- Sheppard/Teyla  
Genre- Romance, Episode Coda  
Archiving: Gate of Dreams, Sheppard Teyla Fever, Atlantica, Heliopolis, Unique Bond, all others please ask.  
Warnings- None  
Spoilers- The Gift,

Summary- The Wraith are coming all of Atlantis is preparing, but John and Teyla both have to gain some perspective about who they are and who they are together.

Disclaimer- I don't own the characters or the show concept. I make no money from these poor scribblings.

Special thanks to Shelly for the kind beta.

* * *

**Perspective- chapter 1**

The low artificial light, mixed with the streams of sunlight coming through the door of Teyla's room, made a beautifully strange, otherworldly glow, on the floor. But she barely noticed it. Her bag was almost packed and her need to get out of Atlantis as soon as possible was eclipsing everything else.

She needed some time to think- God knows they didn't have much of that, but if she went to the mainland now, she could update her people in person and seek the solace she needed.

Teyla paused a moment and looked around the room. It was still incredible to her that she was here, in the city of the Ancestors, away from the immediate threat of the Wraith, away from constantly running from place to place. She thought she had found stability for the first time in her life and she valued it more than she could say. It wasn't that she wanted to leave Atlantis forever; she just needed to gain perspective- about herself, about her mission with the Terans, and then there was – John Sheppard. She really needed perspective about him.

"Teyla?" John's voice sounded from her doorway. Startled that the focus of her thoughts should appear at that moment, she turned to face him. "Teyla what's going on?" asked a slightly irritated Major Sheppard. "I waited in the training room for half an hour and you didn't show."

"I am sorry Major," Teyla inwardly cringed that she had forgotten their appointment, but outwardly, she retained her normal calm. " I forgot our session was planned for today. Please accept my apologies."

With a slight bow of her head, she turned her attention back to packing. Teyla crossed to the dressing table to retrieve the last item she needed for her journey.

"No problem. It just would have been nice to know before I sat around waiting." John said easily, leaning on the doorframe. He tried to keep his voice normal to mask his very real disappointment when she didn't come.

He hadn't seen Teyla alone in a few days, what with planning for several off-world missions to look for ZPM's, and he needed catch up with her. To see if she was still avoiding him, well, he guessed he'd gotten his answer.

Teyla faltered slightly mid-stride at his words, but recovered herself and placed the last item in her bag.

"I am sorry major," she said, forcing a smile, "it's just that my mind has been engaged in preparations for my trip to the mainland, to see my people. Now that we know that the Wraith are only two weeks from Atlantis, it is very important that I speak with them." 'And it is important that I get away from you for a few days,' she added silently.

"Yeah, about that," he said pushing away from the door, "I still don't understand why you can't just contact them by radio. I really need you on this next mission. These people know you, they trust you."

She couldn't give into this, not now. It was hard for her to deny him anything, but she had to do this, for her own sanity. Yes her people could be told all they needed to know over the radio system provided by the Terans, but she needed to see them, she needed to be away.

"Major, we have been over this already. I must talk to my people in person and I have personally contacted the Edraneese. They are looking forward to meeting you and helping you in whatever way they can. It will not be like the Genii, I assure you."

"Won't be the same without you…" he teased. "You know Rodney will drive me crazy, complaining the whole way there and back."

Teyla's smile was genuine this time, "It is one mission Major Sheppard, I think you can handle Dr. McKay on your own for that long."

Finished packing, she slung the bag with her belongings over her shoulder and headed for the door, stopping just in front of John she turned to face him.

"I will be back in a few days time, but I must go, John." She willed him to understand what she could not say aloud.

John looked away hoping the look in her eyes didn't mean what he thought it meant. He already felt like the biggest fool making an ass of himself over Chaya, the Ancient they encountered, but if he was reading Teyla correctly, he had hurt her, despite her assurances to the contrary. He didn't have the right to pressure her further.

"I'll see you when you get back."

* * *

The Athosian's camp was looking more like a well-organized village every time she visited. The large round tents they lived and worked in were arranged in three long rows, with a cluster of four or five at the far end of the camp. 

Teyla was proud that her people had recovered so quickly from the events of the last several months. They were hard working, good people, her people. It felt right being here with them again, and as she breathed in the smell of aromatic smoke produced by the cook fires located around the camp, it felt as if she had come home.

This had always been her favorite time of day, the meal just before sundown; it reminded her of the meals she shared with her mother and father. Yes, it was good to be home.

"Teyla! It's Teyla, she's back!" shouted a very excited Jinto as he came bounding toward her. "Look, father, Teyla has come to visit us!"

Following not too far behind his son, Halling smiled fondly at his son's enthusiastic outburst. Teyla caught his eye and they shared a knowing smile. Returning her attention to the excited thirteen year old, she stepped forward and touched her forehead to his in the traditional Athosian greeting.

"Jinto, I am pleased to see you as well. Thank you for welcoming me so…loudly."

Halling laughed as he also stepped forward to greet their guest.

"It has been too many days since you came to us Teyla. Have you been well?"

"Yes, I am well, old friend, but I have been unable to come to you before now. We have increased our off-world missions in hopes of finding the power sources necessary to restore protective shields to Atlantis before we have to defend ourselves against the Wraith." Motioning with her head for Halling to follow her, she began walking toward the dwelling set aside for her periodic visits.

"Jinto, go to Mela's dwelling and tell him that Teyla has arrived from Atlantis." Jinto looked disappointed, but obediently left to find Mela.

"Have you been successful…in locating these…power sources?" Halling asked hopefully.

"Unfortunately, we have not yet been successful, but the missions continue even as I am here with you."

"So, you have come to give us news of the Wraith." It wasn't a question so much as a statement of fact. Halling was very familiar with the look on Teyla's face, he had seen it many times before and it always meant one thing; Wraith.

She stopped walking and turned to face him. "The Wraith are but two weeks from Atlantis. I have come to address the council and explain what must be done."

* * *

"No, Mela, it is not possible. Atlantis still has no protective shields, we will not be safe in the city." Teyla understood the older man's point of view, but didn't share it. 

"But, they have such wondrous weapons and defenses, surely we would be safer there?" This question from the middle aged woman sitting next to Teyla.

"Yes, you are right Te'an, they do have many weapons, but even those will not protect us from the Wraith when they come." She paused to make eye contact with each member of the council. "We have one and only one advantage in our current situation. The Wraith do not know we are here. They think all the inhabitants of this planet live in the city of Atlantis. Because of that, if we are very cunning, we can hide all evidence of our settlement and escape their notice."

"But, what of the Terans?" Halling asked frowning. "Are we not going to help them fight the Wraith? Is it right for us to hide while they defend us?" Several other councilmen nodded in agreement.

"Dr. Weir and Major Sheppard both agree that the Athosians should stay together to protect the children and those too old to fight for themselves. They also believe that if they die defending Atlantis, at least someone would survive."

* * *

The Atlantian sun was just rising over the trees as Teyla looked around the busy encampment. She was satisfied that the preparation for evacuation was going well. 'How many times had they done this?' she mused to herself. Too many, but it was the only way of life she had ever known. There was some comfort for her in the familiar. Not, much, but some. Sighing heavily, she stepped away from the opening of her tent; perhaps some 

meditation would help settle her thoughts.

"Teyla, my young student, you look troubled." The voice was that of her old mentor, Charin. Upon hearing it, Teyla turned to watch as Charin walked toward her.

Charin was a woman of perhaps seventy summers and the years had been quite kind to her lined face. She still retained more than a shadow of the beauty she once was. Teyla loved her greatly and valued her patient teaching and wisdom.

"I'm afraid I've come with unpleasant news for the village. The Wraith are on their way here and we have only a few short days to prepare ourselves."

"Yes, my dear, I've heard that news already," she said, smiling wearily. "Bad news travels very quickly. But that is not all that troubles you young one; I can see it in your eyes."

"I never could hide my thoughts from you Charin, I used to think you could read my mind when I was a child!" she sighed again, knowing she wouldn't be able to evade her friend's questions. "Very well." Teyla gently guided Charin back inside the tent, She helped Charin sit down in a worn wooden chair positioned by a cluttered worktable; Teyla took the chair next to it.

"Yes," Teyla continued, "I am troubled about more than just the Wraith. I have been struggling to find my place among the Terans." She paused to gather her thoughts. "I find myself at odds with their methods of dealing with the people they encounter." Unable to sit still, Teyla got up and began to pace in the middle of the tent.

"They are rash, and at times self-serving. Sometimes, they are too eager to use force to solve the dilemma's they create, or find themselves in." Stopping at the far end of the tent, her back to her old teacher, Teyla wrapped her arms in front of her and continued. "Yet, in the very next moment, they are capable of such kindness and compassion, that I am left wondering what to think. They risked their lives to save our people and others; they give of what they have freely, and they have the same reverence for the Ancestors as we do."

"I see," Charin murmured understandingly.

"It is not that I am regretting my decision to work with the Terans, it is just that sometimes, I feel as if I will never fit in there, or understand their ways."

"Your father used to say that you don't have to see eye to eye with people to fight by their side."

"Yes, I remember," Teyla, said wistfully, "it is that advice that I took to heart when I stayed to fight the Wraith with them." Teyla turned back to the old woman and crooked a half smile, "I don't think my father would have done something so rash as to leave his own people to fight along side another."

"Rash?" Charin asked, raising an eyebrow. "You think what you have done is rash? Teyla, what you have done is necessary. You serve your people best by helping the Terans defeat the Wraith. They are gifted with the city of the Ancestors and it is only right that you should fight by their side."

Charin rose, walked to Teyla and grasped her hand with frail fingers. Looking into the younger woman's eyes she spoke very softly. "Not everything we do in our lives is completely understood at the time we are doing it, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done."

Teyla held Charin's gaze for a moment, letting her words reach deep into the unsettled places of her heart. Charin was right as always, she was doing what was necessary, and she felt the assurance once more that she would be proved right in the end. After all, she was Teyla Emmagen, leader and defender of her people, and she would do what she must, even if she didn't always understand it, to see them safe.

But that still left John… That problem would not be so easy to solve, she feared.

"Thank you, Charin. Your wisdom still amazes me even after all these years." Teyla added her free hand to the one Charin was grasping with hers and touched her forehead to her friend's.

"Teyla!" A voice called from outside the tent dwelling. "Teyla, are ye in here?"

"Dr. Beckett?"

Carson poked his head through the opening of the tent. "Ah, good, ah 'tis you! Halling wasn't sure where you were. I'm afraid I've come ta take you back ta Atlantis."

Instantly alarmed, Teyla grabbed her bag and started for the door.

"Oh, no, no, it's no' an emergency, it's just that we've found another possibility for an alpha-site and Major Sheppard and his team are still with the Edraneese. Dr. Weir wanted you ta go with the second team an' look at the new site." Carson looked sheepishly apologetic. "I'm sorry, m'dear."

Teyla relaxed visibly, and let her bag slide back to the floor. "Give me a moment, Dr. Beckett, I need to give some last minute instructions to the council. I will meet you at the Jumper in ten minutes."

Carson agreed withdrawing from the opening of the tent. Teyla moved to follow him, but was brought up short by Charin's voice sounding behind her.

"What do you know about your father and your mother's courtship?" Charin asked, a curious look playing over her weathered face.

Teyla was instantly wary, not sure where Charin might be headed with her unexpected question. She hadn't told her mentor about her feelings for Major Sheppard, or the disappointment she'd suffered over John's recent behavior, but that didn't mean Charin didn't know.

Being a private person, Teyla was reluctant to discuss her romantic life with anyone, even someone who knew her as well as Charin did, but it was beneath her to be rude to anyone, much less a person of her years and respect among their people.

"Just that they waited a long time before becoming bonded help-mates, much longer than most in our village."

"But you do not know why, do you?"

"No." Teyla answered honestly.

"Your mother was always looking for something. She possessed within her spirit an urgency to look for the next adventure, the next new thing…" Charin's eyes had the look of one lost in memory. "She also felt that bonding might bind her in ways that would make her life dull and uninteresting."

"But, I remember how happy my mother and father were, she never seemed restless or resentful." Teyla said, frowning.

"No, you're right, by the time she'd agreed to be bonded to your father, she'd had a complete change of heart. She eventually became aware that to love and to be loved was the greatest adventure of all, but it was many, many days before she understood that for herself."

"Why are you telling me this now, Charin?" Teyla asked, still wary.

"Your father was a patient man and wise enough to know that if he would only love your mother in his own quiet way and wait, she would eventually come to him."

Charin had of course accurately pinpointed the remaining source of Teyla's unease and upset.

"How do you always know just what to say?" She asked in amazement.

"Well, my dear, I know you."

Teyla and Dr. Beckett returned to Atlantis but Teyla had to turn right around and leave with the team to the prospective alpha-site. It turned out to be a strong possibility, but they would have to take a bigger survey team back there to know for sure. When Major Sheppard returned later in the evening, they would make a final decision on the site.

In the mean time, Teyla went about her usual duties and tried to help were she could. It was mindless work for the most part, which kept her mind free to dwell on the advice Charin had given her about Atlantis and John Sheppard.

Was her situation similar to her parents? If she waited would John come to her? Did she have the patience that her father had? Those questions chased each other around in her brain all day.

There had been a time when they first met, that Teyla had felt a profound connection with John, she was fairly certain that he felt it too, but lately he'd gone out of his way to deny it. He didn't come out and say it, but he'd been giving her subtle messages for weeks- the latest one being his infatuation with Chaya.

Had she imagined his interest in her? Had he simply changed his mind? Or was there some deeper reason known only to John that he didn't want to connect with anyone on an intimate level? Charin seemed to think it was the later, and of course the hopeful part of Teyla wanted to agree.

"I've just heard from Major Sheppard's team, they've been delayed and won't be back till 2300." Dr. Weir's voice brought Teyla out of her reverie. "So, the decision on the new alpha-site will have to wait till tomorrow morning, we'll meet with everyone at 0700. Why don't you get some sleep? You look like you could use it"

"I was going to finish reading these site reports, but you are right Dr. Weir, I would welcome a good night's sleep," said Teyla.

"I know what you mean, I haven't slept all night through for weeks. It's been a tough time for all of us."

* * *

Cold, fear, paralyzing terror, she was being stalked and was powerless to get away, or defend herself. He was coming closer and closer. 'Move! Move, get up!' She screamed to herself, but it was too late, the Wraith was on her. She fought and fought, thrashing back and forth in her bed, but in her heart she knew it was useless. Just when she should have been dead, he was gone and she was sitting up amidst rumpled covers, trembling and gasping for breath. 

John, she had to get to John! Throwing back her cover, Teyla bolted out of bed and into the hallway. She had to get to him before the Wraith did; it was all up to her now, if she didn't get to him in time he'd die. Or maybe it was, if she didn't get to him she'd die. It amounted to the same thing really.

"Major Sheppard!" She was knocking on his door. "Major!" When he didn't answer the second time, she keyed the door open with the combination he had given her, and ran to his bedside. 'Oh, God! Oh God', she was too late! John was already dead. Teyla couldn't breathe, as fear and anguish flooded her being.

Sensing a presence behind her she turned to find John's killer standing there, unrepentant. There should have been no escape, but instead of taking her life force the Wraith eyed her as if she were his equal. Teyla experienced a moment of sickening kinship before she awoke for real in her own bed.

* * *

Morning found Teyla already in the training room trying in vain to shake off the terrors and unsettling images of the night. The dance-like movements of the Ath'nar were excellent for focusing her mind and helping her regain her inner calm. 

That was how Sheppard found Teyla. Having come to train a bit himself, he stopped just outside the doorway of the workout area and couldn't keep himself from watching her for just a few minutes before she realized he was standing there.

Looking at Teyla as she trained was like watching a master at work. Her perfect body was so in tune with her mind that she rarely missed a step.

When John first discovered her fighting skill he didn't so much want her to train him to learn for himself - although that was a great benefit – what he really wanted was a chance to watch her up close and personal every day. She was fluid, graceful and beautiful and something in him wanted to reach out and be a part of that.

Graceful beauty. That really summed up who and what Teyla was in or out of the training room. Add that to her calm control and she made up an intriguing puzzle that fascinated John more than he cared to admit.

But fascination was a dangerous thing for him, because what he was fascinated with he tended to obsess over. And obsessions were dangerous, especially for him.

It was probably some compulsive side effect of his left-brain always trying to figure everything out. Only with women or 'a' woman in particular there was no 'figuring it out', not for him. There was only obsession and then pain.

He was fighting his current obsession as hard as he could because in the depths of his soul he knew that this one was different; this pulling compelling need eclipsed all the ones in his past by a long shot. This obsession could cost him everything and it was a price he wasn't prepared to pay- not yet.

He remembered with uncanny clarity the day he realized just how dangerous Teyla was to him. It was a 'nothing' moment really, just two friends watching football and eating popcorn.

They had been talking; he was explaining some detail of the game to her when something he'd said made her laugh. In that one instant her smile cut though his soul like a knife. A depth of intense emotion jerked his heart so hard he couldn't breathe; he'd never felt anything like it and it had scared the hell out of him.

From that point on he tried to avoid her if he wasn't off world with her… but it never worked completely. He still found himself sitting closely to her during a briefing, and then there was the training, of course. John just couldn't bring himself to give that up either.

Enter, Chaya.

He and Teyla had been together non-stop for a couple of days, in one off world mission after another and his defenses were starting to sag. She was always there, right by his side. Supporting his arguments, lending her quiet agreement, fighting by his side, innocently brushing her thigh against his, touching his arm in an off hand manner and he was at the end of his rope. If he didn't get some space between them he would lose it.

Base as it was, he used Chaya to send a message to Teyla so if he couldn't stay away from her, maybe he could get her to stay away from him. Not that he didn't enjoy his time with the Ancient, but that wasn't his primary goal.

He'd felt a little guilty about that until Chaya had shared her thoughts with him and he'd understood that it wasn't really him she'd been attracted to, but the familiarity of home, someone who was like herself. She was lonely and he'd been available- end of story.

His plan worked. Lucky him. Teyla stayed away just as John had hoped, but instead of feeling relieved, he felt sick. It never occurred to him when he followed this impulsive course of action that she would actually be hurt by it. She'd never given him any reason to believe that she thought of him as more than a friend, until that night she caught him on his way to meet Chaya.

Teyla's words and outer demeanor were rational and calm as always, but her eyes said something completely different. Her eyes told him he'd betrayed her trust, and he felt like the biggest jerk. Nearly a week of self-reflection had done little to help his state of mind. He would have to make amends with her somehow without furthering 'the obsession'.

"Major Sheppard?" Teyla's voice snapped him out of it and he walked all the way into the training room. "Are you unwell? I called to you several times and you did not answer."

'Shit.' She'd caught him staring at her like a moonstruck teenager. "Uh…no, I'm ah… I'm fine." He stammered out. "Guess I'm still feeling a little 'gate-lag' from the last mission. I didn't get much sleep."

"I was almost finished, Major, so the room is all yours." Teyla walked over to her bag and wiped her forehead with towel sitting on the top.

"Actually, I could use a sparing partner, if you're up for it." John said hopefully.

She almost said no, but something in the way he sounded stopped her. He sounded unsure of himself, like it was very important to him that she stay. "Of course, major."

Teyla threw aside her towel and picked up the long sticks lying by her bag.

To be continued in Part II.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title- Perspective  
**Author- Suzanne  
Part- 2?  
Date Posted- 04/11/05  
Rating- T+  
Pairing/Characters- S/T  
Spoilers- All of Season One  
Warnings- None  
Archiving- S/T Fever, Gate of Dreams, Heliopolis, Atlantica, UniqueBond,all others please ask first.  
Feedback (yes please!)

Summary- Between the Wraith coming and a few misunderstandings, John and Teyla find it difficult to find time to talk about the issues weighing on both their minds.

Disclaimer- I don't own the characters or story concept for Stargate Atlantis, I make no money from these feeble attempts at making these characters live.

Special Thanks to Anna for the great job she did with beta for this story.

* * *

**Perspective – Chapter 2**

Like dancers on a stage, John and Teyla circled each other on the mat of Atlantis' exercise room, long wooden fighting sticks in their hands. The early morning sun streamed through the geometrically cut gold, orange, and rust colored windows, bathing the room and its combatants in a warm, inviting glow.

Even though they had only been training together for a few months, they were beginning to read each other's facial expressions and movements; hence neither was quick to make the initial advance. Eventually, John being more inexperienced, lashed out in a series of thrusts and parries causing Teyla to block his weapon and spin around and away from him.

Recovering right away, she quickly launched a counter attack that backed him up several steps.

John circled around again and contemplated his next assault. He opted to twirl his stick over his right shoulder in an attempt to misdirect her attention so that he could swing it down and undercut her legs, but Teyla was too fast. She merely jumped out of the way and used her momentum execute a series of quick hard hits.

John actually returned them hit for hit, and to his surprise his defense knocked Teyla to the floor. She glared at him over her shoulder. Amazed, all he could do was stare at her in disbelief. Maybe he was getting the hang of this after all.

"Continue," she insisted, pulling herself upright.

"Going easy on me huh?" John asked, slightly out of breath.

"I assure you, Major, I am not. Continue," she said tightly.

John just shrugged and readied his stance for her next flurry of maneuvers.

They began again, only to have the same result; Teyla lying prone on the floor of the exercise room. This time he knew it wasn't his growing skill that had laid her low; there was something wrong.

"Are you okay?" John asked, gingerly.

"Yes," she snapped, obviously angry with herself for losing her concentration.

"Are you sure?" he asked, still not convinced. "Cause it's usually me picking my butt up off the mat."

John extended a hand to help her up. As his hand touched hers, heat leaped between the two of them, catching him off guard. He could feel his defenses starting to crumble once again. Her beauty mixed with her own special personal allure, was like a loadstone pulling him down beneath the waves of attraction and emotion. That old fear and insecurity threatened to overwhelm him, even as he struggled not to be cowed by it again.

Teyla readily accepted his assistance but hesitated slightly before deciding to confide in him.

"Truthfully, I have not been sleeping much, and when I do I have been having nightmares about the Wraith." Walking to the window, she turned away from him momentarily.

"Well, you're not the only one," he said lamely. It was amazing to him that she would even consider sharing her troubles with him after what he'd done; pushing her away and taking up with Chaya. But if there was one thing Teyla did well, it was surprise him, her strength, her intellect, her wisdom, never ceased to fascinate him.

"It has not been so bad since my father was taken."

That got John's full attention, and a sense of foreboding crept into his mind. It was his turn to look away. He didn't want her to see how much this worried him.

In the next moment, guilt rose within him damning and bitter as he briefly wondered if his recent behavior might also have something to do with her dream images. God, he could be so dense sometimes, only thinking about himself. Well, not this time, this time he was going to stand by her and help her no matter how hard it was not to fall in love with her.

Oh, geeze. That's what he was really afraid of wasn't it? Terrified actually. What if he fell in love with Teyla and she didn't love him back?

'Get a grip, Shep,' he admonished himself. 'Do what's best for her! She's upset; she's a member of your team. Help her for cryin out loud!'

"What- what exactly happens?" He asked hesitantly.

"I am lying in my bed asleep, when I sense a Wraith enter my chamber. As it begins to feed on me, I awaken."

He watched Teyla squeeze her eyes shut in an effort to block out the nightmare images. "Is there more?" John asked, knowing with certainty that he hadn't heard the worst of it.

Opening her eyes again, she haltingly continued. "I get up, run down the hall to your quarters. When you don't answer, I key open the door and rush in, but I am too late." Teyla's voice caught slightly and she had to pause a moment before continuing in a strained whisper, "the Wraith has killed you."

Well, if he wanted to know if he was affecting her, he had his answer. Ruthlessly, he quashed the impulse to let his mind run away with possibilities and make something out of nothing. She'd said she cared about him, not that she loved him.

On one hand, relief surged through him that even her subconscious mind dreamed about him and worried that he'd die. She worried about him- the thought was dazzling.

On the other hand, he was now very worried that this could eat away at her and maybe, even jeopardize her life. In that second he realized that nothing was more important to him that her well-being. He was going to help her no matter what it took, whether she ever loved him or not.

He took a few steps to stand next to her then put his hand on her shoulder and looked into her expressive brown eyes.

"Nothing is going to happen to me- or you. If we can't fight the Wraith in Atlantis, we will find somewhere safe where we don't have to. I promise."

Moved by his declaration, she returned his gaze and reached up to grasp the top of his hand with hers. "I have lost many friends to the Wraith. I don't want to lose any more."

* * *

He'd thought they'd made a peace, and a new start of sorts this morning when Teyla confided her nightmares to him. John guessed he couldn't blame her when like quicksilver, she turned angry again. After all, he'd responded almost identically when his XO insisted he undergo counseling for post traumatic stress after his team members died in Iraq. 

It also killed him that she was mad at him again. In a perfect world, he'd have had the time to convince her he'd done the right thing. Time. It was the one thing he didn't have. He had to go off world and there just wasn't any more of it to spare. He'd also miss her presence on the team. 'Damn,' he thought furiously, as he dashed through the gate room, 'Will I ever live long enough to understand women?'

The mission was a blur, between worrying about Teyla and fantasizing over the fact that she really did care about him, he could barely keep his mind on what he was there to do. Ford had to ask him the same question on more than one occasion, causing Bates to look at him askance.

Bates. That guy always seemed to be analyzing him. It ticked John off and kind of gave him the creeps to boot. He'd known guys like Bates before, up-tight assholes whose mission in life was to make somebody miserable. This time that somebody was him.

Finally, the survey party finished and it was time to go home. They'd been on the Alpha Site for almost twelve hours, checking and re-checking every possible drawback. They might have to live there for a long time, so he figured twelve hours wasn't too much to ask.

John was bone-tired when he came walking back through the gate and he wanted nothing more than to eat, shower and sleep in that order. The rest of his team must have felt the same way because after they received their orders for the morning briefing, they scattered rapidly.

Running his fingers through his hair, he sighed audibly and headed down the hall to his quarters. He'd almost reached them when he saw her in the hallway. Teyla. It was Teyla sitting cross-legged with her back to the wall, sound asleep. 'Well this is a hell of a thing.' He smiled to himself seeing her sleeping there because at least she was sleeping. The fact that in sleep, her lovely features appeared innocent and sexy at the same time wasn't lost on him either.

He stood looking at her for a moment unsure what to do. He'd have to wake her, he guessed, after all she couldn't sleep outside his door all night long. Reaching down, he gently shook her. "Teyla?"

She started awake and John could tell that she didn't know where she was for a minute. Coming to herself, she jumped to her feet before he could even help her.

"Major! I was waiting for you to return. I must have fallen asleep."

"Yeah, I noticed," John cracked, with a small laugh. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm a," Teyla halted searching for the words. "I have been to the mainland to speak with my old mentor, Charin."

John was confused. "Ah, that's great, Teyla."

"I thought about what you said before you left this morning and decided to speak with Dr. Heightmeyer about my nightmares." Pausing again, she studied his face. John could sense that she needed something from him- acceptance maybe?

"At the end of our discussion I realized there were things I needed to know about myself and my 'special abilities' sensing the Wraith." Her expression turned even more pleading.

"You can tell me anything, Teyla," John said softly.

"Charin told me many things, which I want to tell you and Dr. Weir tomorrow, but I wanted you to know- tonight, that you did the right thing."

"I did?"

Teyla laid a hand on his arm, her gentle touch dissipating the fatigue of his day, sending warmth through him to all the right places. Her eyes caressed his face the way she did only in his dreams. Captivated, John's arms and hands turned boneless with longing and he felt the belt pack he had been holding slip through his fingers to the floor. It landed with a small thud.

"Yes," she continued slowly, holding his eyes with hers. "I needed someone to talk to about my nightmares and you understood that, you understood me. Thank you."

"You're welcome," John said, his voice sounding low and gravelly, even to his own ears.

"I also accused you of betraying my confidence. I see now that I was wrong. You are the one person on Atlantis I know I can trust. You are truly my friend." She lifted herself up on the balls of her feet, touching her lips full soft lips to his.

The part of John's mind that was still functioning realized that Teyla probably hadn't intended for him to kiss her back, but it was too late to worry about that after he'd returned her tentative 'thank you' by pulling her into his arms and capturing her lips with his.

For a moment Teyla stood stock still, most likely as surprised as he was by his impulsive actions, fortunately for him, it didn't take very long before he was able to coax her into returning his kisses. As if suspended in time for a handful of delicate minutes, they existed in a world of their own making, a world where only the next touch of their lips was of any importance.

John felt Teyla's arms slip around his shoulders and the back of his neck, and it spurred him to deepen their kiss. Her lips were soft and firm and he was hungry for them, taking all she would give and more. Desire rose in him swift and hot, swamping his senses and making him crazed.

He thought he'd die of longing when she leaned into him to merge their bodies even closer together. The feel of her soft breasts against his chest was intoxicating and sent spikes of white-hot craving shooting through his entire being. Unable to resist, he lightly ran his hands along the outside of them, over the hollow of her waist and down the small of her back to her lush derriere. With one hand he caressed it, then gently needed the soft swell. She moaned into his mouth and nipped the edge of his lips with her teeth.

With a low chuckle, he playfully pulled his mouth away from hers, forcing her to seek his lips with her own. Teyla didn't disappoint as her hungry mouth found his over and over again. God she could kiss a man senseless.

She smelled of smoky sweet spice and honeysuckle and when John inhaled those heady scents and the slightly more muted one that was Teyla's alone, it made him want to hold her to him and never let her go.

Emotions rose in him startling in their intensity, as their kisses continued. And as if summoned from his very soul, everything he'd been holding back, all the feelings he'd been denying, came rushing out of him and into that kiss. It washed away all the reservations and pretense he'd been clinging to in a vain effort to protect himself, and left him with one clear truth.

He was in love Teyla.

Lost in the rush of his newly acknowledged feelings, and the passion that raged between them, he reached behind his back and tried to key the combination to his quarters without breaking contact of his lips on hers. He wanted to get her inside, more to the point, he wanted to get inside her.

She must have heard him fumbling with the keypad because she tried to help move them both closer to the side of the door. It would have worked too, if Bates hadn't picked that very moment to come looking for him.

John and Teyla jumped apart like guilty teenagers. They tried to busy themselves by adjusting their clothing and looking around awkwardly. John swore silently, hoping to hell the nosey sergeant hadn't seen more than he should have.

"Bates," he said, clearing his throat, "what can I do for you, Sergeant?" God, he hoped his voice sounded normal.

"Sir. Teyla." Bates said.

"Sergeant," she responded, inclining her head regally, before turning to John. "Major, thank you again, for your help. I'll see you in the morning." Teyla slipped quietly around the corner and disappeared.

As he watched her go, he wished Bates to perdition or whatever version of Hell he believed in. Damn his timing anyway.

Looking back to the man who ruined his evening, he noticed that Bates had a curious look on his face as he watched Teyla leave, but thankfully he didn't comment.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late, sir, but I wanted to give you the final security data on the new Alpha Site before tomorrow morning's briefing."

"Thanks, I'll look it over," John said as he took the pad from Bates.

"No, problem, sir. Good night, sir."

John turned, picked up his abandoned belt pack and entered his quarters. Shaking his head in a vain effort to focus, he tried to take a mental inventory of what just happened, but he could only come up with three coherent thoughts.

He was in love Teyla Emmagan, he had a raging hard-on, and unfortunately, he had a very suspicious head of security.

Perfect, just perfect.

To be Continued in Part III

To read more of my stories, please visit my Archive, Gate of Dreams at http/sanssong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title- Perspective  
**Author- Suzanne  
Part- 3 of ?  
Date Posted- 05/05  
Rating- T+  
Pairing/Characters- S/T  
Category- Romance  
Word Count- 2789  
Spoilers- All of Season One  
Warnings- None  
Archiving- S/T Fever, Gate of Dreams, Heliopolis, Atlantica, Unique Bond,all others please ask first.  
Feedback (yes please!)

Summary- Between the Wraith coming and a few misunderstandings, John and Teyla find it difficult to find time to talk about the issues weighing on both their minds.

Disclaimer- I don't own the characters or story concept for Stargate Atlantis, I make no money from these feeble attempts at making these characters live.

Author's Note- Special Thanks to Anna for the great job she did with beta for this story.

And if you'd like to read more of my stories, please visit my Archive which is listed as my "homepage". Just click on the link that says Sanssong and then "homepage" and it will take you right to it!

* * *

**Perspective 3**

Night was a surprisingly quiet place in Atlantis, even on a night like this, which was essentially the calm before the storm. As Teyla rested on her bed, she reflected that her quarters were also quiet- peaceful, and usually a source of calm and restoration, until recently.

A delicate breeze drifted in the open window above her bed and lifted the gauzy material hanging there, bringing with it the salty tang of sea air; a reminder of the ocean's turbulence and power. The subtle dichotomy between the two, symbolized her mood, which was at once euphoric and troubled.

Teyla couldn't seem to put her uneasiness aside to get a good night's sleep, because despite Charin's assurances that her abilities were a gift, she couldn't help but wonder if there was more to the descendants of 'the taken' than any of the Athosians knew.

As she fought for sleep, fears crowded her mind; sleep deprived imaginings brought jumbled scenes of terror. Not even John's mind-altering kisses in the corridor could completely turn her attention from her morbid thoughts. It did, however, give her something else to think about. It was her calming breeze.

John had kissed her.

The enormity of that thought was staggering and she still wasn't sure what he meant by it. Sighing, she grabbed her pillow and pulled it under her head as she rolled onto her side in a vain effort to push the confusing events out of her head - and heart.

Her heart, traitor that it was, refused to abandon the cherished hope that his advances were a signal he was interested in something more than friendship. Her head, in seeming league with her heart, continued to dwell on the kiss itself.

Even now Teyla could feel the delicious sensation of his lips on hers, of his strong hands as they held her to him, caressing her most sensitive areas. Closing her eyes she relived every precious moment of their encounter. His kisses were better than she could ever have imagined and her body was aching to continue them with a vengeance. If only they had not been interrupted. If only.

Flopping onto her other side, she sighed again, this time in frustration, as she contemplated the implications. Perhaps the Ancestors had intervened before she committed too much too soon, because despite John's apparent change of heart, she couldn't be sure at this point, if it were genuine or just the result of fatigue and lust.

Ah, what a tangle. She really didn't need this confusion on top of everything else.

In the end, she supposed their kiss didn't change anything; the Wraith were still coming, she still couldn't sleep, Sgt. Bates had even more reason to mistrust her, and she still had no explanation for John's previous attitude toward her. The only way to know for sure was to wait for him to come to her. Nothing had changed at all.

Around and around the thoughts and images chased each other in her weary mind till she drifted off into a light, troubled sleep. Dreams merged with reality as a parade of horrific scenarios played out in her subconscious. By the time morning came, Teyla was exhausted.

In spite of all that, after a shower and a light workout, she felt better and was completely determined to convince Dr. Weir and Maj. Sheppard, to take her to the planet Charin told her about, the planet where 'the taken' had gone.

It proved to be an easy task, due mostly to John's intervention on her behalf. His quiet support during the meeting and subsequent mission to the planet went a long way toward answering some of the questions that kept her up half the night.

Some, but certainly not all.

They'd not had much time in each other's company and John hadn't mentioned anything about the night before in the few moments they'd been alone.

It was sheer torture to be with him all day and not be able to touch him or look at him. She must have caught herself staring at his, perfectly sculpted lips, clear green eyes, silky spiked hair and well toned body a hundred times. It was fortunate for her that Ford pretended not to notice and McKay never noticed anyone but himself. By the time they returned she was strung tight with arousal and mental fatigue.

It wasn't till they'd shed their gear from the mission to the planet and debriefed with Dr. Weir, that Teyla and Maj. Sheppard found themselves together and off duty. Per her decision from last night, she exited the conference room and headed out the door. He would have to come to her.

"Teyla!" John called, as he jogged to catch up with her. "Hey, what's your rush? I thought maybe we could...maybe get something to eat? I know I'm starved."

He looked so unsure of himself, that Teyla couldn't resist his invitation, not that she'd tried very hard. "I would like that very much, Major." She smiled up at him. "I am hungry as well."

"Great," he said, flashing that contagious boyish smile of his. They turned in unison and started down the hallway in the direction of Atlantis' outdoor eating area.

"Ya know, Teyla, you don't have to call me 'Major' all the time," he started, sheepishly, "it's alright for you to call me by my first name, especially after-" He broke off quickly when the echo of footsteps signaled someone walking toward them.

"Yes." Teyla cleared her throat loudly. "Yes, I will try to remember that Maj. Sheppard."

They both nodded to the little Asian scientist who smiled, bowed slightly, and hurried on down the hallway. There were no regulations forbidding a closer friendship between the two of them, but Teyla didn't think anyone else needed to know about their personal feelings.

Touching her arm, John stopped. Instinctively she turned to him only to find him gazing at her with an all-too-serious expression on his handsome face. "Teyla, we need to talk about last night."

Sick dread snaked up through her stomach as it dawned on her that he was going to apologize. She could see it in his face. Oh, God, just when she thought they had moved forward, he was going to take it all back. She was in no frame of mind to handle his speech about how they could always be friends, so she groped about franticly for an excuse, any excuse to leave.

"Uh, Major," she jumped in, cutting him off, "I have just remembered that I have an appointment with Dr. Heightmeyer. I am sorry, but we will have to share our meal another time."

"Now?" John sounded incredulous. "It's after twenty hundred hours!"

"Yes." Teyla struggled to maintain an even tone. "She asked me to come see her when I returned from the planet, no matter the hour. Please excuse me."

"Yeah... sure," John answered, looking more than a little bewildered. "I'll a - I'll see you in the morning."

Without waiting for him to say anything else, she left him standing alone in the corridor.

Watching Teyla leave ruined John's appetite and made him more tired than he'd thought possible.

'What the hell had he said?' he wondered as he made his way back to his quarters. Everything had been going so well, last night and today, he'd thought they were...

God! Would he ever stop doing this to himself?

Angry as hell at himself for once again becoming obsessed with a woman who didn't want him, he took out his frustration on the keypad for his door. Unperturbed by his outburst, it slid open with quiet efficiency. Entering, he striped off his field jacket and sat down heavily on the bed.

He must have been wrong. That was the only explanation he could come up with. She must have responded to him last night because she was too polite to say no and so when he wanted to talk about 'them', she'd been forced to make it clear to him that there was no 'them'.

"Major Sheppard," Rodney's voice crackled from the radio that John had yet to remove.

"Go ahead," John all but snapped as he activated the responder.

"Do you have few a minutes? We could use your help in the chair room."

"I thought Beckett was helping you with that, Rodney."

"Yes, well, Elizabeth took him away to work on her little 'Wraith Data-Node project'. As if we don't have better things to do at the moment," McKay complained under his breath.

John paused for a second; he really didn't want to do this now, but the Wraith were coming and they didn't care if he ever had another date. Grabbing his jacket, he clicked the intercom again.

"I'm on my way, Sheppard out."

* * *

Teyla actually did find her way to Dr. Heightmeyer's office after she'd run away from John. It had helped her clear her mind to a certain extent; of course, she didn't share her problems about Major Sheppard. But, she'd felt some better after speaking with the gentle doctor, and hoped perhaps she could actually sleep without a plague of troubling dreams like the night before. 

Unfortunately, she was still no closer to the answers she was seeking about herself when she laid her head on her pillow. The knowledge that she could operate Wraith technology was troubling, but in and of itself did not provide her with concrete facts. If Dr. McKay couldn't find answers from the Data Node they'd recovered, she was afraid that she would never know.

Then there was John.

Pain and disappointment engulfed her as she thought of him now, and she choked back the urge to cry. She'd been uncertain of his feelings for her, but no longer. He didn't want her the way she wanted him, despite his actions from the night before. He seemed content with their friendship, so she would have to accustom herself to that limited relationship.

Heartache flashed through her chest like physical pain. How would she ever be able to do that? This time the tears did come and for the first time in years Teyla Emmagan, leader of her people, cried herself to sleep.

She watched the Wraith as it slowly and deliberately stalked toward John's door. Powerless, she stood by as it opened the copper-beige panel leading to his room. Helpless with fear she cowered in the corner as the hungry predator pulled the covering from his body, exposing him for feeding. Anguished, she lost her last shred of sanity when the face of John's killer was her own.

Teyla woke to the sound of her own piercing cry, only to find herself already sitting upright in bed. Pulling her knees to her chest, she fought to control the jerking sobs that continued to wrack her body. Nothing in her experience had prepared her for dreams so vividly real that she was overcome by them even when awake. The images played to her deepest fears and greatest weakness.

There had to be something seriously wrong, her dreams had to contain at least a small thread of reality to be so disturbing. Every instinct she possessed was telling her so. She needed to find John, he was in danger; he must be. Or if he wasn't, he was the one person she knew that would help save her, even from herself.

Decision made, Teyla dashed away the last of her tears and bolted for the door. It opened at her command to reveal the very focus of her concerns, Major Sheppard, with his hand suspended in mid-air, looking very tired and very worried.

Relief rushed though her in great sheeting torrents when she saw him alive and well and before he could say a word, she launched herself at him, nearly knocking him down as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Suddenly, it was all too much and her tears began again in earnest.

Without thinking, John reciprocated, pulling her tightly to him. He'd heard her terrified cry from the end of the hallway on his way back from helping McKay and Zelenka with the chair. It scared the hell out of him and he'd come to make sure she was all right. Standing outside her door, he called her name, and knocked repeatedly, but she didn't answer. He was about to key the override for her lock when she opened it herself.

"Hey, hey," he soothed, "it's okay." It wasn't everyday that John had to deal with a sobbing female; consequently he was more than a little out of his element.

At a loss for what more to say, he gently guided her back over to her bed, sitting her down on his lap and cradling her there in his arms. He'd probably be sorry later, given the fact that she didn't want more than his friendship, but he didn't care.

After a handful of minutes Teyla seemed to settle down because instead of heaving sobs, he now heard only small hiccups. He figured it was safe to venture a question. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

She waited so long to answer he thought maybe she wasn't going to. When she did speak, her voice was hoarse, shaky.

"Nightmares," was all she could manage.

"About the Wraith." It wasn't a question.

Teyla nodded against his chest, but didn't elaborate.

"Come on Teyla, I can't help you unless you tell me."

Silence.

When she didn't say any more, his photographic mind went to work on every reaction she'd had since he arrived at her door, in an effort to figure the details out for himself. She'd been crying; she was obviously going somewhere when he got there; seeing him already at her door provoked one hell of a response.

That had to mean something. A tiny glimmer of hope dangled just out of his reach. Had he misunderstood her reasons for bailing out on him at dinner tonight?

He had to know, he had to ask the question.

"I was there, wasn't I? In your dream?"

She nodded again.

It was now or never.

"I'm not dead, Teyla. Nothing is going to happen to me." He gently gripped her chin and forced her to look at him. What he saw in her eyes robbed his breath.

Oh, yeah, he'd definitely been wrong.

"Kiss me," she whispered up to him. "I know you do not want that from me, but I need to feel something real. Just for tonight, would you kiss me?"

Didn't want that from her, was she kidding? It was all he did want, for God sakes! Then the meaning behind her words clicked into place, leaving him dumbfounded at her misunderstanding. She actually thought he didn't want her.

"Teyla, when you ran off tonight, you thought I was going to apologize for- for, kissing you... didn't you?"

Confused at the strange turn of conversation, Teyla tried to wiggle off his lap and stand up. John had other ideas however, and wasn't about to let her go. "Didn't you?" he insisted again.

"You did not intend to?" she asked, clearly unsure of what his answer would be.

"No," he said, as he caressed her tear-drenched cheek, "not even close."

"I do not understand, Major," she murmured.

"John," he said softly before he touched his lips to hers. "I've wanted to do that all day." He kissed her again, hungrily catching her bottom lip between his teeth. She was so heart-stoppingly beautiful, her hair mussed from sleep, her eyes liquid from crying, all he wanted to do was kiss her until she begged for more. But they needed to talk so -that would have to wait.

It was obvious that her response was still tentative; as if she was afraid to believe what her eyes and body were telling her about him. He was going to have to come clean and tell her the truth.

"Teyla, I..." John's restless hands skated up and down her back and he felt her shiver in response. Unable to help himself, he bent his head to hers and took her lips again, she was like a drug he couldn't live without. God, but she was intoxicating. Reluctantly he pulled his mouth from hers and forced himself to focus on her face. "I wanted you to know that last night was amazing."

"Amazing? You mean...?" She left the rest of the question unasked, but her expression told him she was on the verge of understanding.

"I want a lot more from you than friendship, Teyla."

End Part III.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Perspective**  
Author: Suzanne  
Part: 4 of ?  
Rating: T+ **(for the MA rated version of this chapter, please visit my "homepage" that can be found by clicking on the link that says sanssong, then click "homepage" and it will take you right to it!**  
Genre: Romance, Drama, Missing Scenes  
Word Count: 3651  
Warnings: Sexual Situations  
Spoilers: The Gift, The Siege I & II  
Archiving: Sheppard/Teyla Fan-Fiction, Gate of Dreams, Heliopolis, Atlantica, Unique Bond,all others, please ask first.

Summary: Can John and Teyla's new relationship survive the strains of working with their fellow crewmembers on Atlantis?

Disclaimer- this is a work of fiction intended only for my amusement and the entertainment of others. No money has been made from this endeavor. Actual dialog from "The Siege" Part I, is the property of MGM Television, Sci-Fi Channel and the writers of Stargate Atlantis.

* * *

**Perspective - Chapter 4**

"Kiss me," Teyla whispered up to him. "I know you do not want that from me, but I need to feel something real. Just for tonight, would you kiss me?"

Didn't want that from her, was she kidding? It was all he did want, for God sakes! Then the meaning behind her words clicked into place, leaving John Sheppard dumbfounded at her misunderstanding. She actually thought he didn't want her.

A giddy laugh born of relief bubbled up from inside and he damn near embarrassed the hell out of himself by letting it out. Instead he grinned like an idiot and gave voice to the only question on his mind.

"Teyla, when you ran off tonight, you thought I was going to apologize for last night for- for kissing you... didn't you?"

Confused at the strange turn of conversation, Teyla tried to wiggle off his lap and stand up. John had other ideas however, and wasn't about to let her go. "Didn't you?" he insisted again.

"You did not intend to?" she asked, clearly unsure of what his answer would be.

"No." He traced the edge of her tear-drenched cheek with his fingers. "Not even close."

"I do not understand, Major," she murmured.

"John," he corrected softly before he touched his lips to hers. "I've wanted to do that all day."

When Teyla didn't protest or pull away, he kissed her again, hungrily catching her bottom lip between his teeth and sucking lightly.

She was so heart-stoppingly beautiful, her hair mussed from sleep, her eyes liquid from crying, all he wanted to do was kiss her until she begged for more. But they needed to talk so that would have to wait.

It was obvious that her response, while encouraging, was still tentative; as if she was afraid to believe what his words and body were telling her. He was going to have to come clean and tell her the truth.

"Teyla, I..." John's restless hands skated up and down her back and he felt her shiver in response. Unable to help himself, he bent his head to hers and took her lips again. She was like a drug he couldn't live without. God, but she was intoxicating. Reluctantly he pulled his mouth from hers and forced himself to focus on her face. "I wanted you to know that last night was amazing."

"Amazing? You mean...?" She left the rest of the question unasked. He could see she was on the verge of understanding.

"I want a lot more from you than friendship, Teyla," John said huskily right before he lowered his lips to hers again in a tender kiss.

Initially, he'd pulled her into his lap to sooth away her nightmare, to comfort her as he would a frightened child, but she'd chosen to remain there long after the dream was banished and his body now reminded him in no uncertain terms that she was no child. As he held Teyla enfolded in his arms, she responded with the passion of the woman she was.

Helpless to stop, he tilted her face in his hands to slant his mouth over hers, transforming the gentle touch of lips to a deep, all consuming kiss. Moaning quietly she shifted against his legs coming into exquisite, almost painful, contact with the hard bulge of his erection. Barely contained desire burned its way from there to every nerve ending in his body, causing him to pulse and throb with every beat of his heart.

Fleetingly, he thought of they way they'd miss-communicated in the last twenty-four hours and thanked God for her nightmares about the Wraith. Without them, he wouldn't be caressing her satiny skin or kissing her senseless.

Or maybe she was kissing him senseless, at this point he wasn't sure.

Even now, as he took a moment just to look at her, watched as understanding broke over that lovely face, the sharp relief he felt looking in her liquid brown eyes was testament to how upset he'd been thinking he'd fallen for yet another unattainable woman.

In the very next second however, her eyebrows lowered to again form a slight scowl and he sighed lightly, realizing he wasn't out of the woods yet.

"Then why..." She hesitated, possibly searching for the right words. "Why, did you want me to think you only desired my friendship?" Her expression was hopeful but still slightly haunted.

"Teyla." John stalled for time, drawing lazy circles on her scantily clad back, glorying in the fact that she shivered delicately in response. Just for good measure, he butterfly-kissed the sensitive skin by her ear.

Then because touching her soft skin was so addicting, he was unable to resist the acute temptation to sample her lips once more. Despite any lingering doubts, she kissed him hungrily in return.

Okay, John, get a grip, the tiny rational part of his mind demanded.

"Look..." He forced his lips away and rested his forehead on hers. "I've been an ass, and you have every reason to tell me to go to Hell because of the way I acted. But the truth is-" He lifted his head to look directly into her eyes. "-The honest to God's truth is I've been attracted to you since that first day on Athos. And not in a 'friendly' way, or an 'allies' way, but in a 'man wants a woman' way." There he'd said it.

"I do not wish you to go to Hell." The corners of Teyla's lips kicked up signaling the first hint of a smile, while her hands slipped up and caressed the back of his neck, giving him a few shivers of his own. Neither of them seemed to be able to stop their hands from exploring the other.

"Well that's a relief," he said half-jokingly. That comment earned him a real smile, but he knew she was still humoring him. "Seriously though, my personal life has been pretty screwed up for a while now. It's complicated- I usually complicate it. I sent you mixed signals, because we have this - this, I don't know- this, connection, I never felt with anyone else and I wasn't sure if you felt..."

Before he could finish his thought, Teyla closed the few inches of space that he'd allowed between them and kissed away the rest of John's words.

He must have said the right thing.

He had. Teyla got the answer she'd been waiting to hear. John Sheppard wanted her; he did have feelings for her and most of all he also felt the strong connection that she had sensed between them since their first meeting. Letting go of every reservation she'd been holding, she poured every ounce of emotion into the sweet connection of their mouths.

The desire that had been simmering since yesterday exploded, turning their kisses hot and hungry as John opened his mouth, plunging his tongue in to tangle with hers.

Teyla completely agreed, further deepening the searingly intimate exchange and returning his intensity with some of her own. She loved how he tasted of male and that salty tang unique to Atlantis.

Her heart surged with the knowledge that his kisses were aggressive, possessive and warrior-like. She'd lived among warriors long enough to know when one was bent on claiming what was his. She absolutely felt possessed.

That thought alone sent hot shards of desire through her already aroused body. Pooling in her lower abdomen, it made her weak with longing. More than that, it was intoxicating to be the object of John's desire.

Slowly, John eased them down on the bed till she was looking up at him as he leaned over her. His handsome face held a hint of wonderment that seemed to be all for her. "Teyla," he breathed as he lightly kissed the delicate skin on either side of her mouth, "you are so beautiful."

He captured her mouth again with his and she breathed deeply of that clean captivating scent that was the essence of him. Teyla opened willingly to him, dragging her lips back and forth over his as she pushed her hands up under his shirt. John made an erotic little groan at her touch that rumbled lightly though her, leaving her trembling with barely controlled arousal.

After a few minutes, the only thing that could be heard were the telltale sounds of passion and longing. Building to a fever pitch of want that left John aching to hear Teyla's sweet cries of release.

Nothing, however, could have prepared him for the sound that did reach his ears.

"Major Sheppard," the soft static-filled voice of Dr. McKay on the radio interrupted abruptly. "Chair room to Maj. Sheppard, do you copy?"

John nearly jumped out of his skin as Teyla's arms went limp and she sagged back on her bed. "Sonofabitch," he whispered disgustedly.

Unwilling to move even a fraction of an inch, he waited to see if Rodney would give up and assume he was already asleep.

"Maj. Sheppard, do you copy?"

'Of course not, this is McKay, the biggest pain in my ass, we're talking about.'

"It is all right, John," Teyla murmured, caressing his hair with her hand. "If you do not answer him, he will only continue to call and possibly come looking for you."

John gave her one last, longing look and let out a huge defeated sigh before getting up to retrieve his radio.

"This is Sheppard," he said, his clipped words barely civil.

"Ah, yes, Major. Sorry if I woke you, but I had another brilliant idea to re-activate the chair and I ah - I need your assistance."

The trouble with Rodney was he didn't know when to quit and he didn't seem to need any sleep - or other relaxing activities - that the rest of them did. Maybe he could subtly remind the good doctor of that. "Uh, Rodney, I'm a little busy right now." He threw another longing look in Teyla's direction. "Can't this wait till morning?"

"Well, I don't know, Major, do you think the Wraith might wait till next month to make us all appetizers?" came McKay's sarcastic reply.

Teyla was right, when he wanted something it was best to just let him have it.

"I'll be right there," John conceded finally.

"Thank you, Major."

"Yeah, whatever. Sheppard out," he said, clicking off his radio.

John turned his attention back to the woman lying on the bed and wished he had just ten minutes more with her.

Teyla propped herself up on an elbow and shot John a sultry hungry look. God, he just wanted to kill Rodney. "Will you be long?" she purred.

"Knowing Rodney, I'll be lucky if I get any sleep at all tonight, much less the chance to come back," he answered as he pulled on his pants and black uniform shirt. "At least one of us should get some rest."

When John had finished dressing he re-joined Teyla, who had also donned most of her nightclothes and sat watching him silently on the bed.

Drawing her into his arms again, he kissed her gently. "We're not done here, you know. Just in case you were wondering."

A sexy little smile wreathed her face as she traced light patterns on his chest with her fingertips. "I would be disappointed if we were."

"I can't promise when, but we'll pick up where we left off. Soon."

They shared one last lingering kiss before he reluctantly headed out to help Dr. McKay.

* * *

Sgt. Bates stood at end of the hall and observed Major John Sheppard exiting Teyla's personal quarters. He was on night shift and had been doing rounds; Ensign Riley had taken offices and labs. Bates took crew quarters. 

This latest observation confirmed his growing fear. The military leader of Atlantis was falling under the influence of an alien - an untrustworthy one at that in his professional opinion.

There wasn't much he could do, the Major wasn't breaking any regulations and he had no proof that Teyla was a security risk. He'd just have to wait till she proved herself a threat.

He just hoped it wouldn't be too late.

* * *

After the initial shock of learning Teyla's partial ancestry wore off, John became convinced that her abilities could be the tactical key they'd been looking for. Teyla agreed reinforcing his confidence in her that she would always do whatever she could to fight the Wraith. 

He trusted Teyla intrinsically with a confidence he couldn't explain. Maybe it was their special connection, or that he knew her so well. Whatever it was, he knew beyond knowing that his Teyla could never be a threat. Never.

It was clear however from the furtive looks she kept giving him, that she wasn't sure how he felt about her new talents. He needed time to reassure her that he believed in her completely, so he managed to get rid of Carson for a few minutes while they waited for Elizabeth and Dr. Heightmeyer to get to the medical lab.

"So, are you okay with this?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes. If I can help us fight the Wraith by connecting to them, then I must try." She looked away from him at the mention of their common enemy.

"Teyla." John reached for her hand. "Your DNA hasn't changed the way I feel about you."

She turned back to look at him, their eyes colliding. He was telling the truth. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she did. Relieved, Teyla smiled and released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "I am glad. I wanted to believe that you would understand, but to be honest, I am not sure that I understand it yet myself."

"We'll figure it out, all of it," John assured her.

Somehow she knew he wasn't just talking about her Wraith ancestry. It would be so easy to fall in love with this man, her heart whispered.

"So, are we ready to get started?" Dr. Beckett asked, walking into the room with both Dr. Weir and Dr. Heightmeyer.

* * *

Teyla was seriously worried. 

Amazingly, connecting to the Wraith had been possible and much easier to do than she imagined. She had been on their ships, she now knew their plans, but at what cost? A fitful night trying to sleep in the medical lab hadn't done much to help her determine that or help her peace of mind either.

Although she had no memory of knocking John to the ground and threatening the others, she felt enormous guilt over having been the conduit. And of course, the suspicious Sgt. Bates had been standing right there to witness the entire thing, even going so far as to stun her unconscious himself. He must have taken great satisfaction from that and it went without saying that he would probably never trust her again.

She had been so happy just a day ago. John had held her in his arms, telling her he felt the strong emotional connection they shared and if they had not been interrupted, would have shared more of themselves in the most intimate of ways. Now, she was not sure how he felt and it was clawing at her heart like a hungry Wraith.

John had avoided coming to see her in Medical and even now she sat alone wondering when Dr. Beckett would release her. Luckily she didn't have to wait for long. Carson came striding in cheerfully almost the minute after she'd thought of him.

"So, Teyla m'dear, how are ye this mornin'?" the doctor asked brightly.

"I am a little tired, but otherwise I am fine." Teyla sat up on the narrow bed and draped her arms over her knees.

Carson crossed to his desk to retrieve her chart and then walked over to her bedside. "I'd hoped the sedative I gave you last night would have helped you sleep, but you did have a rough day of it yesterday."

Putting down the chart on the instrument table by the bed, he took his small flashlight and lifted her eyelids one at a time, checking her pupils. After verifying her other vital signs, he looked up at her and smiled. "It looks like m'dear, that you are perfectly back to normal, I only..."

Before he could elaborate further, Major Sheppard strode in the door and over to the side of her medical bed. Teyla's insides clenched at the expression on his face. It was all business.

"Good morning, everyone. How's our patient?" John avoided meeting her eyes, directing his question to Dr. Beckett.

"So far so good, major," Carson, answered. "I was just about to compare this mornings readings with last nights and then we'll know for sure." Dr. Beckett took Teyla's chart and scribbled the new numbers.

Meanwhile Teyla looked up at John willing him to say something- anything. He returned her gaze but only shook his head slightly, indicating that he couldn't or wouldn't talk now.

"So, did you sleep? Are you ready to get back to work?" he finally asked.

"I am fine." Teyla fought to keep the frustration and worry she felt out of her voice.

"I'm looking for something a little more enthusiastic than, fine," John replied flatly.

"I am ready to be put back on active duty," Teyla countered more emphatically.

"I'm sure you think so..." he began, clearly not convinced, "but uh..."

Teyla interrupted and looked beseechingly at Dr. Beckett who had finished comparing her vital signs. "Tell him I am fine."

"She is, Major. I see no further reason to keep her here under medical supervision," Carson confirmed.

Teyla looked expectantly back at John.

He paused several seconds as she tried without success to read his expression. "All right. You're back on active duty."

Momentarily relieved that he'd given her at least that much, she tried smiling her thanks to him.

Her heart sank when he quietly turned and left her.

* * *

John wanted to break something. The look on Teyla's face as he left her in Medical, had him feeling like the biggest bastard on the planet- maybe even the galaxy. He knew his feelings hadn't changed and that little performance in front of Carson was nothing more than bullshit, but she didn't. 

Without an opportunity to straighten things out any time soon, his dark mood threatened to spill over into a seriously bad attitude but somehow he managed to be merely sarcastic instead.

Figured he'd get stuck reviewing possible Alpha Sites for an hour and a half with that prick Bates. It was all he could do not to knock him out of his chair after what he did to Teyla yesterday.

Well, he was going to have to suck it up for now because even though he'd be with her for the rest of the day, they wouldn't be alone.

Consequently, John left Atlantis' briefing room even more unsettled than he entered it.

"Major, is Teyla coming with you?" Sgt. Bates asked, following him out of the room.

'I do not need this', he thought as Bates continued following him down the stairs and through the gate room.

It was Bates' fault that he'd had to go into 'damage control mode' in the first place. God forbid that he give the paranoid sergeant or anyone else the impression his judgment about Teyla might be compromised by personal feelings.

It killed him that with no time to explain to Teyla, she was jumping to all the wrong conclusions. But if he didn't get Bates off his back, it would get worse before it got better.

"You're not seriously asking me that?" John immediately went on the offensive.

"I think it's a bad call, sir."

"Here we go again," John muttered disgustedly, hoping his repressive tone would discourage Bates.

No such luck.

"All I'm saying is that we still don't fully understand her connection to the Wraith." Bates was like a dog with a bone. "And in my opinion I don't think we should expose her to information that we don't want the Wraith to have, the least of which is the location of our evac site," he finished, gesturing to emphasize his point.

"The doctor gave her a clean bill of health," John countered, purposefully keeping his voice down, as he entered a smaller hallway.

"And that's good to hear, sir," Bates pressed his point as he tried to stay abreast with his commanding officer. "But if she can't control how the Wraith use her..."

"You don't know that," John said defensively.

"That's right, we don't. She saw everything they saw, who's to say that they can't do the same with her and see what we see."

John finally stopped walking and turned to face Teyla's accuser. He'd had enough of this asshole and it ended now. "She's an integral part of my team. Period. End of story. We're done," he stated in clipped tones, his irritation getting the better of him.

John shook his head in frustration knowing he'd left an even more suspicious and unhappy Sgt. Bates standing alone in the hallway.

God had he placed himself in one hell of a position by falling for Teyla. Not that he was sorry. He was a smart enough guy to know that women like Teyla only came around once in a lifetime and he wouldn't apologize for loving her.

However, he had a job to do and it was important that the men he commanded respected him and trusted his judgment. Bottom line here was his little confrontation with Bates drove home the fact that he would have to keep his relationship with Teyla very quiet, at least for the time being.

He hated it, but until Bates' fears could be laid to rest in was in his best interests and Teyla's that no one else know about them.

TBC

End Part 4


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Perspective**  
Author: Suzanne  
Part: 5 of ?  
Rating: T+  
Genre: Romance, Drama, Missing Scenes  
Word Count: 3673  
Warnings: None  
Spoilers: The Gift, The Siege I & II  
Archiving: Sheppard/Teyla Fan-Fiction, Gate of Dreams, Heliopolis, Atlantica, Unique Bond, all others, please ask first.

Summary: Can John and Teyla's new relationship survive the strains of working with their fellow crewmembers on Atlantis?

Disclaimer- this is a work of fiction intended only for my amusement and the entertainment of others. No money has been made from this endeavor. Actual dialog from "The Siege" Part I, is the property of MGM Television, Sci-Fi Channel and the writers of Stargate Atlantis.

* * *

**Perspective- Part 5**

Not being one to mope when life didn't go her way, Teyla suited up with John and Aiden to survey the new Alpha Site, trying her best to be her normal self. She apologized to the young Lieutenant again for attacking him the day before. Ford shrugged off the incident with his usual good humor.

"Dr. Weir and I have a couple of other possibilities if this one doesn't work out and it would be nice if we could get to all of them today," John advised his two other team members.

"What he's trying to say is, we need to make it quick," Ford cracked, grinning like a kid.

"Very well, I am ready, Major." Teyla turned toward the door as she clicked the last of her body armor into place.

Teyla shook off the slight disorientation that she felt every time she used the Stargate and looked around the latest possible Alpha Site.

The gate on most worlds was situated in a clearing or rock surface void of trees or plants that might grow up around it and block an inbound traveler's arrival. M1M-316 was no different, for all that it was supposed to be uninhabited. She wondered idly if the Ancestors somehow tended worlds such as these.

This particular clearing was between two hundred to three hundred yards on all sides, and was blanketed with the thickest, greenest grass she had ever seen.

Teyla automatically followed John and Aiden as they moved off the gate platform, guns raised to defensive positions, and attempted to observe as much of her surroundings as possible. Shading her eyes from the bright sunlight, she took in the dense vegetation growing at the nearest edge of the clearing.

It looked to be a mix of large multi-trunked trees that had an abundance of leaves and branches extending well over ten feet all the way around; over-sized ferns, and an odd looking kind of tree with a very straight trunk standing over fifteen feet in most cases and ending with a spray of graceful spiked fronds. She could just make out a cluster of some sort of brown large nut on the underside next to the trunk. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen before.

There were also patches of intense color interspersed everywhere- flowers, most likely- she thought. The warm humid breeze, blowing languidly, lifted the ends of her hair and brought with it a fragrant smell, confirming her conclusion; flowers. Of several different varieties, if she wasn't mistaken.

"Whew." Lt. Ford whistled. "Stackhouse wasn't kidding, this place is amazing! It's like Paradise or something." Teyla agreed silently, slightly awed by its profuse beauty.

"Yeah, well, let's just hope there's not a snake hiding somewhere close by, huh?" John quipped with his usual light sarcasm.

"With vegetation this dense, there are most certainly snakes and perhaps other reptiles." Teyla gave John a brief but puzzled look. "Why would that be a problem?" she continued absently, the beautiful indigo of the sky capturing her complete attention.

Ford laughed to himself. "What the Major meant was, he hoped there's not something to spoil it. See on Earth, there was this place called Eden..."

John cut in before Aiden could finish, "It's just an old Earth saying, you wouldn't understand. All I meant was, I just hope this place is as good as it looks." Without looking back he motioned for them to keep moving.

Teyla was stunned. John had never spoken to her that way. Ever. Judging from the look on Lt. Ford's face she hadn't over-reacted; he was just as surprised as she was. Her heart nearly fractured, as she had to accept the possibility that John was having second thoughts.

There was absolutely no time for fits or melodrama now however. She had a job to do and she would do it, so she buried her real reactions and merely raised an eyebrow when Ford looked her way. He just shrugged in response, obviously having less an idea than she did what was wrong.

"You're the major, Major. Lead the way," Ford said cheekily.

Despite her own turbulent emotions, Teyla had to admit, that the planet looked like a strong possibility for her people and Jo- no, she corrected herself mentally, Major Sheppard's people. It was temperate, had good soil, and drinkable water, (according to Stackhouse's original report). They could do a lot worse.

As she turned to relay her thoughts to Lt. Ford, she glimpsed some slight movement in the southern tree line that had nothing to do with the wind. Instantly alert, she raised her rifle.

Not a split second later the silence was broken with the deepest, loudest, roar she'd ever heard. They all exchanged worried looks.

"Ford?" Sheppard asked.

"No, sir. I've never heard anything like that."

Sheppard looked to Teyla obviously wanting to know the same thing.

"No, Major. I have never known any animal that would make such a sound."

"Well, I don't think I feel like hanging around to see it, do you?" he asked rhetorically. "Let's go."

Ford, Teyla and Major Sheppard turned and moved quickly in the direction of the Stargate. They were halfway back to the gate when a large brown-green animal broke through the trees at the edge of the clearing.

Teyla turned briefly to see what had to be the largest upright lizard in the galaxy and it was headed straight for them.

Nearly twenty feet high, it had a mouth full of sharp teeth, and a powerful tail, that she was sure, could knock down the biggest Wraith. It roared again giving her even more incentive to get to the gate. As she continued running, Ford and Major Sheppard fired on the large animal in an effort to buy themselves some time.

It didn't seem to phase the creature. In fact she was relatively sure it was moving even faster. Cold dread spread from her throat and down her entire body causing her to break out in a sweat. Never had she faced anything remotely like this. It would be ironic if after all her years of evading the Wraith, she were torn to pieces by a big angry lizard.

"Ford, get Teyla to the gate. I'm going try the stunner, see if I can't take it down." John was already kneeling in position with the Wraith stunner positioned on his shoulder by the time he finished giving his order.

"Major!" Teyla panicked and ran back to where Sheppard was kneeling. Grabbing his arm she tried to pull him up with her, but he was too heavy and not about to go anywhere.

"Teyla," Sheppard growled dangerously, "get the hell out of here, now!"

"If the stunner does not work, you will have no time to get back to the gate!" she pleaded. Another threatening roar from the creature sounded in the humid air, the thing was closing fast.

"Yes, I will," he bit out, "Now, go. Please."

They eyed one another defiantly for precious seconds that they didn't have before Teyla relented. "I will wait for you at the gate and attempt to provide cover."

Sheppard returned his attention to the lizard.

Teyla was back to the gate in less than a minute, right behind Ford, pivoting around immediately to take aim at the giant menace.

She watched in terror as Sheppard fired several times hitting the lizard in the chest and head. To her surprise it did slow the monstrosity down long enough for him to make it almost all the way back to the platform, but when it shook off the last lingering effects of the stunner, it shrieked in rage, lowered it's massive horned head and raced toward the team at top speed.

She and Ford fired their weapons at it while Sheppard sprinted toward them.

Fortunately, he had bought them enough of a head start for Ford to begin dialing the Stargate, but it was going to be close.

The huge outward splash of the wormhole engaging was possibly the most beautiful sight Teyla had ever seen, she thought, as she and the others continued to fire on the approaching animal.

They stepped through the event horizon just as the terrible lizard reached the base of the stone steps. She would never forget the much too close and detailed look at those enormous razor-sharp teeth and soul-less eyes as long as she lived.

It had been that close.

When they arrived on the other side, the gate room was the usual state of organized chaos that followed an emergency off-world activation, with Dr. Weir, Dr. Zelenka, Sgt. Bates and several other members of security there to greet them.

They were all of them alert and concerned with the exception of Bates. Bates wasn't concerned, he was livid, eyes nearly closed in slits of anger.

"I told you she was a liability, sir," Bates accused loudly, getting in Maj. Sheppard's personal space. "Now, I'm not going to let your personal feelings endanger this facility any longer."

"What?" Teyla was incredulous. She'd almost been eaten alive and now she had to listen Bates' irrational ranting?

"I'm not accusing you of doing it intentionally." Bates switched his focus to Teyla. "But the Wraith must be getting information from you," he insisted.

"What the hell are you talking about, we ran into uh...uh- what the hell was that?" John shot over his shoulder to Ford.

"Looked an awful lot like a T-Rex, sir," Ford replied, still slightly out of breath.

"Yeah, a T-Rex, it wasn't even a Wraith." John looked angrier than Teyla had ever seen him. "So why don't you just check those accusations."

Bates backed off, silenced for the moment.

Teyla eyed the sergeant defensively, outraged that he'd even think she would help the Wraith in any manner. Raw anger and left over adrenaline pulsed through her at his audacity when it occurred to her that if he had been warning Major Sheppard again about her, it might account for John's strange behavior.

Bates had just made a serious error and a formidable enemy. What he needed was a lesson in Athosian loyalty and Teyla had every intention of giving it to him.

Always the diplomat, Dr. Weir, stepped in to further diffuse the heated exchange. "I take it you don't recommend the planet as an Alpha-Site, Major?"

"It wouldn't be my first choice." Sheppard swung around to look at Elizabeth, "if McKay doesn't get the satellite on line, we're screwed," obviously still upset. "Sergeant, you're dismissed."

Bates complied, turning silently on his heel to walk away.

Teyla took several deep breaths in an effort to center her whirling emotions. When it became clear to her that Weir and Zelenka had a few more questions for Maj. Sheppard, she excused herself to have that little discussion with her accuser.

"Sgt. Bates!" Teyla, called as she ran down the hallway after him.

"What is it?" Bates, answered tersely.

"You just accused me of exposing our position to the Wraith."

"Yes, I did," he said unapologetically.

"Clearly you were wrong," Teyla's voice was dangerously low.

"That's yet to be determined, ma'am." Bates unconsciously griped his gun, his face a study in smug confidence.

That look alone, pushed Teyla perilously close to losing what was left of her temper. "Excuse me?"

"Look..." Bates seemed to relent momentarily.

Perhaps her face looked as forbidding as she felt.

"I'm willing to accept that you may not be fully in control of what information you give away, but it's still my opinion that you should not be allowed to move freely around this base of operations."

Teyla fought harder to control her burgeoning anger. "Perhaps you are not aware, Sergeant, but being accused of serving the Wraith is the greatest insult among my people."

"Oh, I'm aware," Bates, replied, his face clearly indicating he understood the nature of his accusations.

Erupting without warning, the frustration, disappointment, and outrage that had been building since yesterday, came to a head and Teyla struck the self-righteous Bates in the face, knocking him back several feet.

"What the hell's goin' on here?" Sheppard's voice sounded behind her.

Unbeknownst to her, Maj. Sheppard and Lt. Ford had finished their short briefing with Dr. Weir, and followed her down the hallway, arriving just in time to witness her eruption. The two of them jumped immediately into action, Ford, blocking Bates and Sheppard grabbing Teyla's arms and pulling her around and away from the others.

"I was simply stating an opinion, Major." Teyla bit out caustically.

"She attacked me." Bates wasted no time accusing her yet again, all the while trying his level best to get away from Ford.

"And for good reason," she defended.

"Yeah, and what reason would that be?" Sheppard leveled his question at Bates.

"My guess would be the Wraith," the Sergeant challenged again.

Teyla surged forward once more, outraged anew at his degrading comments. Much to her frustration the major held her back from her target quite effectively.

"Walk away, Bates," John said forcefully.

"Sir-" he tried to argue.

"Walk away." John pointed angrily to emphasize his words.

Bates was enough of a soldier to understand that he'd been given an order, so he sloughed off Ford's restraining arms and straightened his uniform.

He wasn't however admitting defeat as he glared at Teyla and aimed an accusing finger. "This isn't over."

He was already leaving by the time she could answer so she addressed his retreating back. "I would be disappointed if it were!" Sad, how much had changed since she'd uttered those same words just a day and a half ago.

"What the hell were you doing?" Maj. Sheppard asked incredulously, turning his attention back to her. When she didn't respond right away, he continued. "You don't go around decking the Head of Security."

"He said-" But he didn't give her a chance to finish her thought.

"I don't care what he said," Sheppard all but screamed at her. "He says a lot of things!"

They eyed each other hostilely.

"You just stay away from him," John finally demanded.

Teyla hated feeling this way. She was heartbroken and angry; angry at the ridiculous assertions made by Sgt. Bates; heartbroken and angry with John for being the kind of person who would not stand by her against her accuser.

With a final slight nod of her head, she left Major Sheppard and Lieutenant Ford standing together in the hallway.

* * *

The early evening stars were just beginning to wink on all over the night sky and a light breeze blew in from the ocean ruffling John's hair. It was well past the normal dinner hour for Atlantis' outdoor mess, so thankfully there weren't a lot of people around to irritate or interrupt him. Given his current mood he couldn't vouch for his response. 

That couldn't have gone much worse, John thought glumly as he sat mentally reviewing the events of the afternoon and pushing the uneaten food around on his dinner tray. Everything that could have gone wrong with Teyla had gone wrong starting from the moment Weir and Beckett had blithely informed him that she was part Wraith the day before.

John was convinced that Teyla thought he partially believed that nonsense Bates was spouting and even if she didn't she was most definitely pissed as hell at him.

Although, when it came right down to it, he wasn't too happy with her either for starting a fistfight with the most suspicious person in Atlantis.

Damn. It looked like they just had their first fight.

John wasn't going to let the thing with Bates slide, but he did want to get past it. He'd talk to her; they'd fight it out and then make up. Good straightforward plan, what could be simpler?

God, make-up sex with Teyla; just the thought of it made him horny as hell.

Because he was scheduled for a meeting at 2000 hours to find another possible Alpha-Site, John didn't have much time for much more than the 'fighting it out' part, but if the meeting finished at a reasonable hour he could go back for the 'make-up' part afterward.

With that thought in mind, he pushed back from the table and headed to her quarters. If they were going to work this out, he would need to fill her in on a few things, starting with an apology.

"Teyla?" John called again, after knocking on her door several times and getting no response. "Come on. Can't we just talk?" Still no response. He'd almost decided to give up when he heard her voice.

"About what?" came the defiant question from the other side of the still closed door.

"What do you mean about what?" He was instantly semi-angry at her attempt to pawn him off with that crap.

Unconsciously his voice had raised a fraction before he caught himself. Looking around he was relieved to see no one in the hallway that might have heard him. "About us," he hissed to the door, only loud enough for her to hear him.

The door to her quarters slid open abruptly causing John to lose his balance slightly. "Teyla," he said awkwardly, feeling like an idiot.

"I was not aware that there was an "us" to talk about, Major," Teyla replied, her arms crossed over her chest.

Yep, she was pretty pissed.

"Look, I know there are a lot of things you don't understand right now and I've screwed up-" John glanced around the hallway again, thinking he might have heard someone coming. "Can I come in for a minute?"

Teyla merely raised one delicate eyebrow, inclined her head slightly and then stepped aside to let him pass. At this point, he would take what he could get and so gingerly walked past her and into her room.

Teyla waited silently.

"I need to explain why I haven't been too friendly around you today," John began.

"On the contrary, Major, you do not owe me any explanations."

She was not going to make this easy for him, he guessed.

"You've probably figured out by now that Bates has it in his head that you're a security risk," John started lamely. "But what you don't know is he's also figured out that my feelings for you go beyond just friendship and he's convinced that my judgment has been compromised."

"Go on," she said neutrally, arms still crossed.

John took a big breath and ran the fingers of one hand through his hair. "I had to pretend, for Bates and anyone else who might have been wondering, that you are just a member of my team, nothing more."

"You convinced me," Teyla said flatly.

"Okay, I had that coming." John sighed. "Look, I acted that way as much to protect you as I did me. Can you imagine if the others thought I was protecting you because I a thing for you? They'd just say you were guilty and lock you up! I couldn't let that happen."

"Major-" she began.

"John," he insisted, cutting her off. He was so not going back rank and last name after he'd had her naked in his arms.

Teyla, however, refused to accede and continued; "Your treatment of me in front of Lt. Ford, Dr. Weir, Dr. Beckett and others today was insulting. The contempt and disrespect you showed me in their presence may never be undone and I must live with the consequences."

John had known this was going to be rough, but he'd grossly underestimated just how rough: so much for a straightforward simple plan.

The stink of it was she was absolutely right. He'd gone to such an extreme in an effort to placate Bates (and all for nothing it seemed) that he may have done real damage to the very trust and respect he was trying to protect.

"You're right. I went too far," he conceded sincerely.

They looked at one another as if across a great chasm.

"I'm sorry, Teyla," John said simply, knowing anything else would be a waste of breath.

"As am I, Major," she answered ominously, her face a mask of pain and regret.

John felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of him. She was seriously considering ending this, he could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. No, no way, there had to be a way to fix this because he wasn't sure he'd survive it if they couldn't. He was in way too deep at this point and there was no going back.

"Tell me you can forgive me, that we can get past this," John pleaded, searching her face for some sign of her intentions.

"I-" Teyla started but her voice caught and she couldn't speak for several seconds.

John could have sworn he saw the sheen of tears in her beautiful almond eyes and it cut him straight through the heart.

"I...feel..." she continued haltingly, "...for you... what I have never felt for anyone in my life. But, I no longer trust you," Teyla finished softly.

Her words were like arrows of ice piercing his soul, leaving him cold inside.

She didn't trust him.

God what a complete and utter screw-up he was. All he'd done since he'd met her had been destroyed in twenty-four hours.

John looked at her, devastated by the silent tears streaming down her cheeks because of him. What was it with him and women? The harder he tried the more he screwed things up.

Crossing the few feet that stood between them John surrounded her smaller frame with his larger one, enfolding her in his arms. Teyla remained rigid for a few seconds before melting into him and hugging him tightly, her slight frame shaking in quiet sobs.

Palming her head in his hand he cradled it to him, rocking them slightly back and forth. "I love you, Teyla," John murmured into her hair, "I'll win back your trust no matter what it takes. I promise."

End Part 5

TBC in Part 6! If you like my stories and would like to read more, please visit my Archive Gate of Dreams. You can get to it by clicking on the link that says sanssong, then click on the link in my profile that says "homepage" It will take you right to it!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Very Special Thanks to Anna who has held my hand and listened to my whining about missed deadlines and a 3 chapter story that turned in to six. She is the queen of all betas, kicking my ass when I needed it and telling me when I'd nailed it dead on. I couldn't have done this without you! smooch! (to view the NC-17 version of thisstory please visit my web-site, Gate of Dreams that's listed ih my profile.)

* * *

Perspective- Chapter 6

Shadows shifted in the dark room, odd patterns of gray and black that flitted slowly from the open window above her head to the far side of her sleeping quarters. It occurred to her fatigued mind that the swell of the ocean waves might be reflecting off the smooth surface of the city creating the hypnotic shapes that seemed intent on keeping her overtired mind from finding the peace of sleep.

Teyla sat up in her bed watching the shadow ballet, knowing it wasn't really their delicate beauty that kept her awake. Her insomnia could be traced directly back to her aching- yet strangely hopeful- heart, her confused mind and the still persistent cold that pervaded her soul.

How she longed for the wise council of her mentor, Charin. She desperately craved words of comfort or understanding that would help her sort out the violent storm of emotions threatening to undo her.

Had Teyla known that being in love would be so painful, she would have escorted Major John Sheppard right back to the Stargate the night he walked into her tent - and her life.

He had thoroughly upset her carefully ordered world till, one minute, she would gladly push him off the South Pier for treating her so badly, but in the very next second, her heart was swamped by the giddy knowledge that John loved her and she wanted to find him and share her overheated body with him.

She really did love him. That single truth was the center of her anxiety, the knowledge that because of it, he had the power to destroy her from the inside out.

Could she learn to trust him again and if she could, should she? Her heart and seething emotions screamed yes, but her rational mind wasn't sure.

Teyla had believed him earlier when he'd promised that he would do anything to win back her trust, and oh how wonderful it had felt for him to hold her to him as she poured out her broken heart. However, John's overreaction to Sgt. Bates and its subsequent aftermath, was not something she could easily overlook.

Enough. It was past time for her to act like the confident leader she was and make a decision. Swimming to the surface of her mind came the chilling thought that with the Wraith bearing down on them, they might not have too many more tomorrows. She had to sort this out- now.

Truth. John Sheppard was her match, her other half, there could be no debate on that subject.

Reality. When that connection would became fully realized, however, was now a matter for thought and consideration. He would indeed have to earn back her trust and it would be up to her how long that would take.

Solution. Teyla would find him tomorrow and tell him she loved him. She would not take the chance that he could die not knowing she had forgiven him.

She would further go on to explain that they would not be picking up where they left off until John could prove himself worthy again of her trust.

Checking and re-checking every angle of her logic she at last felt the certainty of knowing she could be at peace with this course of action.

Plans decided, course set, the turbulence within her subsided to within manageable levels.

Teyla's expression cleared as she laid her weary head on her pillow and relaxed, eventually slipping into slumber.

* * *

The next morning, Teyla awoke refreshed, feeling better than she had in weeks, despite the knowledge that the Wraith would arrive at Atlantis sooner than she ever would have wished. Apparently, her relationship with John Sheppard had weighed more heavily on her mind than she cared to admit to herself.

She had in mind to seek him out once she was dressed and see if he was free for breakfast. Perhaps afterward they could find a few private moments to talk. The sooner they understood one another, the better.

The knock at her door sounded as she finished brushing her hair.

"Enter," she called, hoping it was John and that he had decided to ask her to breakfast. She was immediately concerned when the door opened to reveal not only him, but Lt. Ford as well. They didn't look happy.

"Teyla," John's greeting was somber, but the fact that she could see his feelings for her reflected in his clear green eyes, helped to put her mind as ease.

"Has something happened?" she queried, getting right to the point.

Ford looked uncomfortably from her back to Major Sheppard. "Sgt. Bates was found unconscious last night. He's been beaten up pretty bad."

Teyla sat down on the bed behind her immediately recognizing she could be a prime suspect.

"You do not think I had anything to do with it?" She looked beseechingly from John to Aiden.

To his credit, John chimed in immediately; he was definitely trying to make up for his earlier behavior. "Of course not."

Ford however, wasn't willing to let her off so easily. "You and Bates did get into it pretty good yesterday."

"You know me, Aiden, I never would have taken it that far," Teyla answered mildly.

"I know, so let's just see if we can't rule it out all together," Ford pressed doggedly.

Trying to ascertain just how much of this was Major Sheppard's idea, Teyla hesitated and looked to him tentatively. His look was reassuring, communicating to her that he believed in her fully, but that this investigation was out of his hands and she needed to answer the questions. Teyla nodded slightly to indicate her understanding.

Their silent communication wasn't lost on Ford despite his youth and inexperience. Working so closely with both of them, he knew better than most how one felt about the other.

He also knew that Major Sheppard would never believe she was guilty of anything unless maybe he caught her in the act. At this point, Aiden felt that it was his duty to protect the major from himself.

"Where were you last night?" the Lieutenant asked continuing his questioning.

"I was here, in my room." Teyla tried her best to keep her irritation from showing through. Ford was only doing his job.

"The whole night?"

"Yes."

"So there's no way of knowing if you blacked out or not," John finally chimed in.

Teyla couldn't help showing the disappointment she felt at his question, but she refused to let it discourage her from her previously determined plans, he had to know she was innocent. They would get through this.

"I have no way of proving it, no, but I did not leave this room last night. I am sure of it."

John and Ford nodded silently. John, to his credit, looked satisfied with her answer and it seemed Lt. Ford wanted to believe, but he looked to his commanding officer for confirmation.

"I did not leave this room."

* * *

"Do you think any of the city's sensors, might confirm Teyla's story, sir?" Ford ventured upon leaving her room.

"She said she was in her room, there's no reason not to believe her, Ford." John wished to hell he were as confident as he sounded. Given her emotional state last night when he left her and her serious mix up with the victim, he couldn't be as sure as he'd like to be that she didn't do it.

"Whatever you say, sir."

They finished the walk to Weir's office in uncomfortable silence and it didn't get much better when they finally got there.

Elizabeth wanted answers and she had her own way of getting them. Once again, however, John found himself in the untenable position of being Teyla's only defender.

Weir was a perceptive woman, the fact that she'd asked Ford for his take on Teyla's alibi after John had already given his, told him subtly that she didn't entirely trust his judgment where the Athosian leader was concerned.

She was too diplomatic to come out and say it in front of his junior officer, but her tone and expression were clear to him. If he was going to keep Teyla from being thrown in the brig, he was going to have to keep his anger and irritation in check and

Had it not been for Dr. Beckett's interruption that heralded the real culprit, he might have found himself seriously at odds with Elizabeth. That bothered him more than he cared to admit. There was almost nothing he wouldn't do for Dr. Weir; the woman who had single-handedly saved his military career, but siding with her against Teyla wasn't one of those things.

Fortunately for John Sheppard, his instincts about Teyla were right again. According to Carson, she had nothing to do with the attack on Bates. As it turned out, they had a much bigger problem than their own personnel beating the hell out of each other.

There was at least one Wraith loose in the city.

* * *

John constantly marveled at the technology left behind by their Ancient benefactors, especially when - like this latest discovery- it helped him do his job. The citywide life signs detector pinpointed their Wraith spy in a few seconds, giving him the intel he, Teyla and Ford, needed to catch this thing quick before it did any more damage. If they were lucky they could find out what it had been up to for the last few weeks.

Teyla.

It suddenly hit him, that not only was she in the clear, the reason for her nightmares had been discovered and she would never again have to face suspicious accusations from people like Bates. She was innocent. Of course, he'd known that all along.

Better yet, her Wraith sense, and ability to connect with them, was going to be a valuable advantage, in their continued fight against them.

While all that was great, it still ate at him that he left her crying and disillusioned in her room last night. Even though he'd been successful at pushing the knowledge of what an idiot he'd been, out of his mind during the whole 'Bates' investigation, now that it was all over, guilt washed though him anew.

John had promised to prove to her that he could be trusted and he meant it. Since there wasn't a whole lot he could say to her that would help that along, he would do what he did best. Let his actions speak for him.

To that end, he'd started out this morning letting her know without words, that she had his full and complete support. He hoped it wasn't wishful thinking that she seemed to understand.

Stackhouse, moving even with his position on the left, snapped him back to the present and he radioed back to compare his handheld with the city's LS detector. "Is he still in place, Doc?"

John's team never stopped advancing toward their sleeping target.

"Yes," Zelenka answered as a seriously worried Dr. Weir looked on. "He's still in the same room. Hasn't moved since we located him."

Relieved, John hoped their good luck would hold. "Let's hope he's still sleeping. Ford, Teyla, you in position?"

"Almost," a blip of static preceded her calm, comforting voice over the radio. He wondered briefly if everyone else got as turned on as he did when they heard her smooth as silk voice. They'd better not, his primitive self growled. 'Get a grip, John, life or death stuff here', he admonished himself.

"My team's ready," he breathed into the radio as he motioned Stackhouse, and the others to move into place. "We're gonna breach the room at the same time from different directions, if he tries to get out the other door- take him.

"Understood, sir," Lt. Ford acknowledged. "We shouldn't be more than a couple of minutes."

"All right, standby." Sheppard halted behind a thick square column positioned in front of the door to the adjacent room, gun at the ready.

This never got easier, no matter how many times he'd tracked these things they always put the fear of God in him. Six months ago, he never known evil like this existed, but that was before he'd seen the life sucked out of his superior officer and entire worlds decimated. Ignorance was bliss.

Stackhouse carried the stunner and moved to point, the other members of the team, found positions similar to his behind various objects in the room. It was now or never.

As if on cue, the door slid open. His team moved forward in tandem, ready to take down their intruder. It was a good plan, in theory, if the Wraith hadn't sensed them coming and stunned them before they ever saw him.

John felt the familiar loss of muscle control and debilitating paralysis that resulted from a direct Wraith Stunner hit and fell ignobly to the floor along with the rest of his team. Some days, his job just sucked.

From his prone position he couldn't see his attacker until its ugly white face was looking down at his. Nor could he stop the vicious predator from ripping his flak jacket away. 'Where the hell are Ford and Teyla,' he wondered desperately.

"Nothing will keep us from our new feeding ground," the eerily modulated voice threatened as it prepared to suck him dry.

Instead, however, the thing convulsed with blue light and fell back unconscious. Teyla's team had reached him in time.

"You were on vox, sir. We heard the whole thing and double timed it." Ford informed him with Teyla at his side.

Unable to speak or move, John couldn't respond to her worry or concern that seemed to be flowing though his mind in waves. It did occur to him that something wasn't right about that, but the feeling disappeared as quickly as it had come and when she was leaning over him, her hand on his chest and her beautiful almond eyes holding his, he decided it really didn't matter anyway.

"We got him, Major," she assured him, "you are going to be okay."

He tried his best to smile reassuringly up at her before he passed out, but he wasn't sure it translated with no muscle control in his face. Later, he would tell her later.

* * *

Dr. Beckett was gone by the time John returned to consciousness in the medical bay. The Scottish doctor and his efficient medical staff now knew that while paralysis from a stunner was uncomfortable, it was in no way life threatening. Victims didn't need the nurses hovering over them while the feeling returned to their body. Especially when they were needed elsewhere to prepare for the coming Wraith attack.

Teyla had accompanied John to medical and stayed with him after the others left. She desperately needed to know that he was all right. What's more it might be the only chance she'd have to say to him all she needed to say. She'd been sitting by his bed for well over an hour, when he finally opened his eyes.

"Teyla?" John's groggy voice was like music to her ears.

"Major..." Teyla began, but when she saw disappointment register on his handsome face at her use of his rank, she softened her tone, placed her hand over his and continued. "John, how do you feel?"

"I can't feel my legs yet, but I'm fine." He smiled at her that smile that made him look like the boy he must have been once. She loved that smile.

"So, is our guest settling in? I'll bet he's more than a little hungry - too bad for him." John quipped sarcastically.

"Lt. Ford has placed him in confinement and is guarding him along with Lt. Stackhouse."

"As soon as I can walk again, I need to get down there and ask him a few questions."

"Yes, as do, I," Teyla agreed, continuing their small talk to avoid what she really wanted to say.

Strangely, now that the moment was upon her, she was suddenly shy. She desperately wanted to talk to him alone, but all she could manage to do was stare at him like a young girl with her first crush. This was stupid she needed to say something. The seconds stretched out like hours till she overcame her nerves.

"John, I've been..."

"Teyla, I know that..."

One interrupted the other and they laughed nervously.

"Ladies first." John smiled again, his sage green eyes capturing hers. She nearly forgot to breathe he was so utterly attractive.

"Very, well." She began trembling slightly and gripped her legs in an effort to maintain her composure. "I wanted... that is I needed to tell you...that I forgive you."

John released a huge breath. "Boy, am I glad to hear you say that. I was so afraid..."

"John, please," she interrupted, "There is more I need to say and we do not have much time."

She continued quickly wanting to erase the worried look on his face. "I also want you to know that...I..." Teyla paused, looking away for a second or two. Then taking a deep breath she turned back, making sure she looked right into his eyes before continuing softly. "...that I am in love with you."

John nearly came out of his skin. He'd been fairly sure of how she felt about him, but to hear her say it out loud was like Christmas morning and his birthday all rolled into one.

He could have so screwed things up in the last few days, but thank God, she forgave him and she loved him. He didn't deserve it, but Teyla loved him.

He wanted to jump off of the bed and drag her to his quarters. Since he couldn't move his legs yet, he settled for reaching over, taking her hands in his, pulling her onto the narrow bed beside him and drawing her lovely lips to his for a thorough kiss.

There it was again; feelings that weren't his.

They flashed though him brief, but intense; her love for him accompanied by her still strong, lingering distrust. He couldn't breathe it was too overwhelming. Breaking off, he pulled back to stare at her, panting softly.

"What was that? I felt..." John broke off suddenly feeling foolish. He must have been imagining things.

"I felt something as well." Teyla smiled seductively. Her part of the exchange had her in sexual overdrive. It was a heady feeling to know the strength of John's physical passion for her. Some of it must have transferred to her to get her this distracted this quickly. She reached for him again, eager to finish what he started.

John leaned away, a little spooked that they could feel each other's feelings- even if it was only for a few seconds. "Uh, Teyla, I don't know about you, but I can't usually feel what other people are feeling. Something's wrong here."

"Perhaps my new abilities enable me to connect with humans as well as Wraith, since I am human," she offered, before seductively trying to kiss him again.

"You're not even a little worried?" John raised an eyebrow and held her off.

"There has always been a strong connection between us, John." Teyla finally relaxed, trying to respond soothingly. "You said yourself that you felt it, did you not?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"It does not surprise me now that I have discovered the ability to mentally connect to the Wraith, that our connection would change or possibly strengthen."

"Strangely enough that does make sense." John shook his head and looked at Teyla in amazement. "Still I think we should have Carson check us out, just to make sure we don't have some weird-ass Ancient disease."

"Of course, Major," she acquiesced, the remnants of their mutual arousal fading. "But there is still something I must tell you."

"You still don't trust me, right? I- that's um...that's what I felt from you a minute ago."

He looked so disappointed that Teyla wanted to lie to him- anything to make him feel better, but she could not. He knew the truth- feelings plucked right from her heart. She would not dishonor him or herself by denying they existed. If they were ever to have the kind of love her parents shared, they would have to work past this first. It would be worth it in the end, she was sure of it.

"Yes. It may be some time before I can trust you not to act without regard for how it will effect me and my standing among your people."

"So where does that leave us, Teyla? I love you, you know that. Are we supposed to just act like friends, like nothing ever happened between us till you're sure of me again?"

"No!" Teyla grimaced as the pain he was feeling shot through her. "No, John, of course not. I just think that any physical intimacy between us would be unwise until I can be sure."

Silence stretched between them as he contemplated her condition. Damn.

Teyla could feel disappointed desire coupled with pure male frustration rolling off of John in waves. It was so potently alluring that it nearly made her change her mind. Nearly. She stilled her mind and waited silently for his verbal reaction.

John never thought he could want anything as much as he wanted Teyla. It was as if every molecule in his body was insisting that he make her his in every sense of the word now that she'd admitted her love for him.

Even though it was a physical drive, it went far beyond the mere physical. The warrior in him needed her, craved her acquiescence in every area. It would be living hell for him to be around her and not be able to touch her.

His rational mind whispered to him that on the other hand, when it came right down to it, he was really lucky she'd even give him a second chance and if this was what she needed to be sure of him then it was worth it.

He'd just have to pray she didn't make him wait too long.

"I don't like it," John finally conceded, "but I can live with it because the most important thing is that you trust me again."

* * *

Once John's paralysis receded to the point that he could walk on his own, he and Teyla were on their way. They entered Atlantis' Wraith-proof brig and found Ford and Stackhouse still there guarding the prisoner.

John didn't waste any time getting down to business. They were out of time and he wanted answers- this Wraith had them and he intended to get them- now.

"Nice to see you on your feet sir, how're you feeling?" Ford asked as he approached.

"You know, pins and needles. I hate getting stunned by those damn things," Sheppard, answered, his eyes never wavering from the captive Wraith. "Has he said anything, yet?"

"No, sir, not yet."

John walked to the edge of the cell and faced his attacker. "You got a name?"

The menacing predator inside the cage stared back but didn't answer.

"Okay. We'll go with, Bob." Sheppard addressed it with deadly sarcasm. "Bob, I'm gonna to need to know what you've been doing here for the past two weeks and I'm gonna need to know now."

The Wraith eyed John, smugly remaining silent.

After waiting a moment longer, the Major turned back to the others. He was seriously displeased and knew that anger and frustration must be streaming straight to Teyla. It was the stronger emotions they seemed to feel. He'd have to worry about that later.

"I don't think he's in a very talkative mood, sir," Ford ventured gamely.

"I need to know what he's been doing and whether or not he's been transmitting back to the hive ships." Sheppard kept his voice low.

"Wouldn't we have picked up the transmission?" Ford queried.

"We can send secure messages, there's no reason he can't," John snapped, a little annoyed at the young Lieutenant's naiveté.

Teyla, who'd been quiet since they arrived at the brig, listened to the exchange between the two men. It was no use trying to question the Wraith, he would tell them nothing. She and her Wraith abilities were probably the only chance they had to glean any intel from the prisoner. However, considering how new to the process she was and how little control she had once inside the Wraith mind, it was most likely a long shot, dangerous for her as well.

That was of no consequence, she was Teyla Emmagan daughter of Tegaan, leader of her people and she would do what was necessary, dangerous or not.

"Maybe I can try and connect with him." Her worried expression communicated an awareness of the danger that her words did not.

Looking from one to the other, John saw Ford's brows creased in caution, his expression grim. As he looked back to Teyla's face, he agreed. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was subject the woman he loved to possible danger.

"I don't think so."

"If the Alpha-Site has been compromised, Major," she reasoned, "we need to know." 'And, you have to trust me,' she finished silently.

It occurred to him then, that this kind of situation was exactly what she was talking about when she told him he'd have to prove that he wouldn't try to protect her when it would make her look weak or like he didn't trust her.

John wasn't happy with his choices; it was a possible lose/lose situation for him either way. If she was taken over again, or worse, hurt by another attempt to connect, he'd never forgive himself. If he kept her from trying, it could permanently damage any chance they had of being together.

There was only a slim chance that she could get anything from the monster on the other side of the bars before it stopped her. As he looked from Teyla back to the Wraith, John's face reflected barely leashed frustration and anger threatening to break loose.

He had to let her try. There really wasn't any other choice.

"Okay," he said slowly, "see what you can do."

Once the decision was made, she turned, displaying all the confidence born of generations of leaders of the Athosian people. This killer of her people was nothing to her and she made sure the arrogant expression on her face showed him just that.

Breathing deeply, head thrown back, she searched for that deep unrelenting cold that lived within her now. Following it slowly back to its source, she heard the voices, hungry, brutal, cunning, desperate. Further focusing, she searched for the loudest, clearest one that would most certainly be their unrepentant captive.

There.

Teyla opened her eyes and zeroed in on 'Bob's' like a hawk after its prey. Elation spread through her, thick and heady, at her success. Now for the information she needed.

Sabotage? Yes. Intel? Communication? The Wraith's initial surprise was giving way to defense. She pressed. Yes. It had gotten...

"What are you doing, human?" The Wraith growled menacingly at Teyla, doubling his attempts to keep her from the information she was seeking.

"You're trying to get inside my mind"

Teyla kept searching. He was angry...hungry...he hadn't...

"Allow me." The thing grinned evilly and cocked its head threateningly.

She refused to be intimidated, never breaking eye contact. There it was, the information she needed, if she could just...

Without warning, fiery pain split though her skull from front to back. Teyla gripped her head as she sank to the hard metal floor. Mercifully, whatever the thing had done to her instantly broke the connection she'd made.

"Teyla!" John yelled in outrage, having felt an echo of the pain the Wraith sent lancing through her.

Blinding rage poured through every molecule of his body and he automatically sprang into action. "Open the door!" he ordered Stackhouse. Never in his life could he remember being so angry that he lost control, this would be the first.

That life-sucking son of a bitch had hurt his Teyla and it was going to pay- dearly. Deadly calm fueled by rage took over as John stepped just inside the cell and started shooting.

The Wraith stood his ground seemingly unhurt.

Meanwhile, Lt. Ford caught Teyla, easing her to the ground where she rested, panting slightly. "Are you okay?" the young lieutenant asked.

Still unable to talk, Teyla just nodded.

"My wounds will heal," 'Bob', taunted.

"Yeah, but for how long?" John retorted angrily. Instinct to protect that which was his, combined with countless years of military training held Major Sheppard's gun in place while he pumped another round of ammo into the Wraith's leather clad chest. "I need to know what you've done to this city," he demanded again, more forcefully. Two more shots rang out.

The thing fell to its knees, but still refused to give any information.

Sheppard took a few more steps into the cell, as he dumped his empty clip and reloaded. "Listen, Bob, I have no problem killing you whatsoever."

'Bob's' smug, jagged grin was like fuel on the fire for John, pushing him past the point of no return. It tried to kill Teyla, sabotaged the city, comprised not one but two different Alpha-Sites and God's knows what else, and yet, it smiled hatefully back at him refusing to answer a single question.

The last of Sheppard's control slipped its leash. "I'm not screwing around, Bob!" he yelled. "Did you sabotage this base or not?" Three more bullets and his antagonist was on the floor of the cell.

"Those who feed upon you will know what you have done to me." Though lying prone in a pool of its own black blood, it still arrogantly issued threats.

"Yeah, we'll see," Sheppard, answered lamely, his anger making his higher brain functions dull.

"Sir," Ford called out a warning from somewhere behind him. "I think we've gone a bit too far."

"I don't think we've gone far enough," he bit out coldly.

The only thing that kept John from killing the Wraith in the very next second was Dr. Weir's voice over the COM. Her words had the effect of pulling him back from that place of dark unrelenting anger.

She spoke of sacrifice and eventual success but her words eventually blurred together in his mind because there in the ghostly light of the holding cell he realized there was nothing more that could be done. The ships were still coming and everything he'd loved and fought for would be dead in a few days. He couldn't seem to embrace Elizabeth's cautious optimism.

No one spoke when the intercom cut off. What more was there to say?

"I will tell you this," the Wraith gasped between death-labored breaths. "No matter where you flee, we will find you. Just as surely as we will find Earth. And when we do, we will feast."

The last two shots fired from Major Sheppard's gun didn't surprise anyone. Neither could they mourn the passing of one so evil that it could discuss the massacre of an entire galaxy as something to be looked forward to. Bob was dead. Good riddance.

* * *

From the time Teyla and John left the Wraith dead, in the brig, events moved forward at a frightening rate. Teyla immediately left for the mainland to oversee evacuation of the Athosians and other non-essential personnel to the Alpha-Site.

There was no time to speak to John alone, no time to tell him what she'd discovered from their brief connections during the interrogation- no time to feel his lips against hers, no time to tell him again that she loved him- and trusted him- no time. She could only hope when they'd all been evacuated, she would have the chance to tell him she'd been wrong.

At this point, that was a big 'if' she reflected morosely.

It was evening by the time she and the other Athosians and non-essential personnel reached their new home and Teyla was beyond tired, so much so that there was a very good chance she'd be sleeping under the stars tonight, as she didn't have the strength to set up her tent. Haling had offered to do it for her, but she couldn't in good conscience let him, he was just as tired as she was. Pausing from her labors for a moment, she took a good look around their new home.

They could have done a lot worse. Despite the slight chill in the air, it was pleasant and dry reminding her of Athos. Unlike Athos, however, there were two very bright moons riding high in the sky, making the verdant landscape visible even at night.

In the distance to her right she could see a vast range of mountains, quite possibly the most beautiful she'd ever beheld, capped with snow. On the other side was a small clear lake beside which they'd made camp. If the Ancestor's willed, there would be fish in it and plentiful game in the woods that surrounded the glen.

Teyla closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the fresh night air, she'd missed living this close to the land. Not that she regretted her decision to stay on Atlantis she just missed parts of the life she knew before.

But if she had to, could she go back to the life she had known before John Sheppard? That was not something she wanted to contemplate.

"Hello, child," the wizened voice of her mentor sounded beside her, pulling her from her reverie.

"Charin!" Teyla turned and gently clasped the old woman's shoulders, touching her head to hers in greeting. "You do not know how I have missed you and your words of wise council!"

"And I have missed you as well." Squinting her old eyes at Teyla in the bright moonlight, Charin lifted her hand to cup the younger woman's cheek. "You look tired, Teyla- and worried."

"Yes, I am worried." Teyla reached up to grasp her teacher's hand gently in hers. "With the city of the Ancestor's defenseless, we now face an even greater threat from the Wraith."

"Yes, child, I know. But that is not what really troubles you."

Unsurprised, by her perception, Teyla had been hoping Charin would give her an opportunity to share her anxiety over leaving unfinished business with John. "Again, you know my mind."

Hooking her arm through the old woman's, Teyla looked toward the lake. "Shall we walk? It is such a beautiful night." Without waiting for a reply, she started slowly, moving Charin away from the camp.

"I have fallen in love, Charin." She glanced briefly to see any reaction.

"Yes." Charin smiled and nodded. "He is a good man, your father would approve."

Teyla let out a small surprised laugh. "How did you guess who it was?"

"One thing about being alive as long as I have," her aged voiced crackled with humor, "is you can tell what people are thinking before they say it. I only had to see you with your Major Sheppard once and I could see the way the wind blew- for both of you."

"That's why you urged me to be patient."

"Your man is a warrior Teyla, you should know that better than most and that means it will always be in his blood to...to...conquer--" Charin waved her hand toward the sky, "--the next new thing. What you have to do is wait for him understand who he's conquering it for!"

"I think it is safe to say he has already realized that." Teyla hid a small smile.

"Well then!" Charin looked at her in surprise. "Why are you still so troubled?"

"We had a misunderstanding," she said miserably. "I told him that I did not trust him and I did not have a chance to tell him I was wrong before we had to leave." Teyla stopped walking, and gazed out over the lake. "I may never get the chance to tell him now."

Charin patted the hand that was still entwined in her arm. "Oh, child, I am sorry. There is nothing that eats at your soul like regret. I will say a prayer to the Ancestors that it is not something you will have to live with."

Teyla turned and tried to smile. "Thank you Charin, I..." She didn't get to finish her thought.

"Teyla?" Dr. Weir's excited voice sounded over the radio, interrupting her conversation. "Do you copy?"

Teyla quickly clicked the radio piece in her right ear. "Yes, Doctor Weir. What is it?"

"We've had a slight change in plans." Elizabeth's voice cracked with static. "All personnel at the Alpha-Site are instructed to return to Atlantis as soon as possible.

"I do not understand." Teyla frowned.

"We've just gotten reinforcements- from Earth."

"That is very good to hear. I will do my best to get everyone back quickly. Teyla out." Clicking off her radio, she turned back to her friend and for the first time all day, Teyla felt like smiling. "The Ancestors must indeed be watching over me."

* * *

"Okay, the one thing you've gotta remember about these Jumpers is that they literally read your mind." John Sheppard stood before his small class of Jumper pilots in Atlantis' landing bay. "Most of the time that's a good thing, but you don't want it distracting your field of vision when you're trying to blow a Dart out of the sky. So stay focused on what you really need at the time."

Turning to walk to the nearest ship, situated on the lower level, John motioned for the men to follow him. "All right, let's get familiar with the controls and get you guys in the air."

As the rear hatch of Jumper five opened, he felt a flash of emotions rip though his mind. Intense sorrow coupled with fear and anxiety. John nearly doubled over under the pain of the feelings Teyla was experiencing. It wasn't the first time today that this had happened.

Bracing himself on the doorframe he took a couple of deep breaths and hoped that the other pilots didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. After a few seconds the connection weakened and dissolved all together.

"Sir?" the pilot standing next to him asked, "should we go in?"

"Yeah, go. Sorry about that. I guess my dinner didn't agree with me." None-the-wiser, the men filed in past him as he waited for his heart to quit racing.

God he hoped she was okay. Hopefully Elizabeth had done what he asked, and Teyla would be back from the Alpha-Site soon. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't soon enough. He couldn't afford to be worried sick over her; unable to control the new connection they had with one another. People's lives were at stake.

Pushing this last round of turmoil out of his mind, he determined that as soon as he was done here, he would find her. He didn't care if shut the door in his face, had to know that she was all right.

* * *

Teyla wasn't quite prepared for the scene that greeted her upon arriving back at Atlantis. Large pieces of equipment littered the large circular gate room and people she'd never seen before darted to and fro like nervous ants.

Searching the upper balcony area, she tried to locate Major Sheppard or any of the senior staff, with no success. She would just have to go find him. She did not want to waste any more time waiting to tell him about her change of heart.

Sprinting up the stairs she looked around the control room for a familiar face, glad when spotted Aiden bounding down the upper stairs.

"Teyla!" Ford's grin split his face from ear to ear. "Isn't it great? Stargate Command got our message and sent reinforcements!"

"Yes, it is wonderful, Lieutenant." Teyla returned his smile.

"And, they're sending the newest battle cruiser, the Daedalus, with a fully charged ZPM! We'll be able to power the city's shields as soon as they get here!"

Teyla was nearly speechless with relief. They finally had a chance to fight the Wraith! "The Ancestors must have heard the many prayers of my people to protect the city."

"Well, it's not here yet, it's gonna be three more days. But, yeah! You should see the guns they brought!" Ford laughed like a kid.

"I will look forward to it. I just hope it is enough to hold off the Wraith before your new ship arrives." Suddenly shy, Teyla hesitated. "Ah, Aiden, have you seen Major Sheppard? I would like very much to talk to him."

"Sure," he answered, taking Teyla's change of topic in stride. "He's training new pilots to fly the Jumpers." Ford frowned slightly. "He may be busy for a while. You might as well settle in for the night and talk to him in the morning."

"That is probably good advice, Aiden, but I am not sure I will be able to sleep any time soon. I really must talk to the Major."

"I know what you mean!" Ford's boyish enthusiasm was contagious and Teyla found herself smiling again in spite of her disappointment. "I gotta go, Teyla. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good-night, Lt. Ford."

The young Lieutenant continued on his way down the stairs and though the gate room.

Grimacing, Teyla looked around trying to decide what to do now that she would have to wait yet again to see John. Dr. Weir found her before she could make up her mind.

"Teyla! You're back. Good." Elizabeth smiled warmly and touched the younger woman's shoulder. "Did all your people make it back from the Alpha-Site safely?"

"Yes, they did, thank you."

"Good. I'm afraid it's going to be rather chaotic around here for the next several days so tell them if they need anything, they may have to fend for themselves."

"Speaking of which, Doctor. Could you explain to me exactly what will happen? How will we defend the city until the ZPM arrives?" Concern at the thought lacing her voice.

The older woman frowned sympathetically. "Oh, I wish I could, but I'm meeting with Rodney and Carson," she looked at her watch, "right now, as a matter of fact. Can I catch you up tomorrow morning?"

"Yes of course, Doctor." Weir started to walk away, but Teyla need to know one more thing. "Ah, Dr. Weir?"

Elizabeth stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"Lt. Ford told me that Major Sheppard is training new pilots, do you know when he will finish? It is important that I speak to him."

"I believe Col. Everett said 2330, but you know the Major, if he feels the new pilots need more instruction, it could be much later than that."

"I see," Teyla said lamely. "Thank you."

"Well, see you in the morning." With that, Dr. Weir disappeared down the hallway.

Four more hours to wait, she mused dejectedly. It seemed like an eternity. She would just have to keep herself busy until it was time for him to get off duty, then she would change her clothes and wait for him in his quarters.

* * *

John was finished with Jumper training-. Finally, he thought exasperatedly. It wasn't that it was a difficult job, the guys were already top-notch pilots and easy to train. It was that John's nerves were strung tight as a bow from the combination of trying to remain calm on the outside while fighting to subdue the connection between he and Teyla on the inside. It damn near drove him over the edge. He was so tired he couldn't see straight. He had to find her. He had to do something about what she was feeling.

With that thought in mind he left the Jumper Bay as quickly as he could and headed for the nearest city Transporter that would take him to her quarters.

He arrived in record time only to find that she wasn't there. Damn.

He knew for sure that she'd come back with the other Athosians he'd confirmed it with Weir by radio on his way; so where the hell was she?

"Teyla, this is Sheppard, do you copy?"

Nothing.

"Teyla, it's John, respond."

Still nothing.

She wouldn't have turned off her radio even to sleep. Now he was worried.

"Weir, this is Sheppard."

"Yes, Major," Weir's voice crackled over the COM system.

"When was the last time anyone saw Teyla?"

"I'm not sure. Is there a problem?"

"She's not answering her radio and she's not in her quarters."

"Standby, Major, I'll ask around and get back to you." Her radio clicked off.

John stood in the hallway by Teyla's room and waited for what seemed like forever for Elizabeth to radio back. In reality it had only been a few minutes.

"John?" Weir's voice sounded in his ear.

"Go ahead."

"Haling said she retired for the night about forty-five minutes ago, he hasn't seen her since."

"Okay, thanks. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm going to try and find her."

"Copy that, Weir out."

Where the hell was she? Granted she didn't know he'd be looking for her, but the fact that she didn't have her radio on had him concerned. Where would she have gone?

Teyla was starting to get desperate sitting alone on John's bed. It was well past midnight now and still he hadn't come back. What if he were to be out all night training? Then she'd never have the chance to talk to him. Mild panic ran though her heart at the thought. She had to talk to him.

Panic. There it was again, only this time it wasn't hers, it was John's. He was worried out of his mind for her. She had to find him, now.

Jumping up from the bed she bolted for the door as she called out to him in her mind and felt the now familiar connection form instantly. Where was he?

Suddenly, in her head she saw the balcony over-looking the ocean on the East pier. That's where he was.

"Where are you?' she felt rather than heard John's voice in her head.

'Your room,' she thought back to him.

'Stay there.' was his answer.

It hadn't occurred to John that he could get through to her with their newfound connection. It sure would have been a hell of a lot easier if he had. Thankfully she had, most likely in response to the moment of panic he'd felt when he didn't find her on the pier.

It was one of her favorite places to be when she was off duty and he was so sure she'd be there that when she wasn't he felt a moment of helplessness because with a city this big, he had no idea where to look next.

Well now that he knew where she was he wouldn't waste any more time thinking about why and how. John made his way to his quarters in record time.

There are moments in everyone's life when time seems to move more slowly, every sight, sense and sound absorbed, imprinted. John had always attributed this phenomenon to the mind's infinite capacity to know instinctively those times that were so special they merited a unique kind of memory storage. One that could be recalled at will in perfect detail.

The first few moments that occurred when he entered his quarters proved to be just that kind of experience.

Things like, the look of love and relief on Teyla's face when he came through the door; the warm glow of low light in his quarters; the smell of the ocean through the open window; the barely there amber colored night-clothes she was wearing, to name but a few.

As time gradually returned to normal John's sage green eyes met Teyla's cocoa brown ones in intimate primal communication across the small space between his door, where he stood, and his bed, where she waited. Transfixed, they walked toward one another, closing the gap. Then as if by some pre-ordained signal, he engulfed her delicate frame in his and they melded seamlessly into one another's arms, lips fusing together in a passionately explosive kiss.

John's kiss was devouring, almost punishing in its intensity, but he couldn't help himself. The hours of straining to contain his worry and anguish for her combined with the protective rage he'd felt when he killed the Wraith prisoner, busted free and found its expression in their kiss. She really was all right and he was starving for the feel of her body next to his, his lips on hers.

Teyla's lips felt deliciously bruised and battered from John's overflow of passion. She was being consumed bit by bit and she reveled in it. This was John, her love, her protector, her warrior; she strained with all that was in her to let him know she understood his need.

The flame building between them was bright and irresistible, daring them to plunge in and be fuel for the fire. Thankfully for them both, some shred of rationality in John's passion drugged brain remembered his promise to her that he wouldn't touch her till she was ready to trust him again.

Against the will of every painfully aroused cell in his body John pulled his lips from hers and gently set her from him.

"Sorry," he managed, still slightly out of breath. "I... promised..."

Teyla's gentle fingers on his lips effectively silenced anything more he could say. "John," she whispered his name like a caress, "it is all right."

"But I thought you wanted..."

Again Teyla interrupted before he could finish his thought.

"When the Wraith invaded my mind during the interrogation and tried to cripple me, your emotional reaction was so powerful that I felt what you felt. Exactly what you felt."

Not sure what to say or how to feel about that level of exposure, John remained silent.

"I had not thought it was possible for you to love me as I love you. I thought you would always put your mission and its concerns ahead of me. I am ashamed to say I mistrusted you because of it." Teyla looked away, avoiding his eyes.

A multitude of different things rushed though John's mind as he thought about her words, not the least of which was relief. He supposed he should have felt insulted that she didn't believe he was capable of loving her selflessly, but for some reason it just didn't matter all that much. Not nearly as much as the knowledge that she trusted him again.

Hell, if she'd done some of the things he did and he had little or no explanation as to why, he had to admit he'd probably have felt the same mistrust. In the end he really couldn't blame her for coming to that conclusion.

It also spoke volumes to him that she'd been beside herself obsessing over whether or not she'd get a chance to tell him about her change of mind. John had first hand knowledge of her inner emotions and knew what it meant to her to repair their relationship.

Of course it didn't hurt that she was head over heels in love with him either. That was one message he never got tired of getting.

Pulling her close again, John gently caressed her cheek and tilted her face till he could see her eyes. "Teyla, despite what you might have thought, too many of my decisions are made by thinking about how it will affect you. If Command, or Elizabeth for that matter, had any idea, I'd be out of a job."

Tendrils of desire stirred once more at his words lifting gooseflesh across her arms. Teyla shivered delicately and rested her hands on his broad chest. "I was afraid that I would never have the chance to tell you how wrong I had been. I would never have forgiven myself."

"Well, now, I know. That's all that matters."

"You can forgive me so easily?" she asked, half jokingly, quirking up the ends of her lips in a sexy little pout.

"Well..." he seemed to consider with mock seriousness, "maybe you're right. Yeah, on second thought, I think you'd better give me some 'incentive'" he paused, running his hand over her ass by way of demonstration, "to wipe the entire thing out of my mind."

A slow sexy smile diffused over Teyla's face causing John's simmering arousal to burst into full flame again.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked provocatively dragging her fingertips up and down his bare arm.

"I think this will do for a start," his voice husky and low, "then we'll just work up from there," he finished, just before his lips descended on hers.

The heightened desire racing from one to the other over their now active connection rendered her incapable of commenting further, but then again, she did not really care. Teyla had every intention of making love to John Sheppard till neither of them could see straight and words were definitely not necessary.

When John could move, he gently rolled over and pulled Teyla into his arms, guiding her head down till it was pillowed on his chest.

Sighing contentedly, she hooked a leg over his and placed a hand over his heart.

"Do, you have any idea how much I love you?" John asked dropping a kiss on her forehead.

Angling her face up, their lips met in tender promise.

"I think I might, since I love you just as much." Teyla smiled up to him with that half smile he loved so much.

"Too bad the world may be ending in a few days." He sighed, his natural sarcasm returning.

"Do we not have a chance to succeed now that your people have sent reinforcements and a ship?"

"I won't lie to you, Teyla, the odds on this one are still only about fifty- fifty. Better, if the Daedalus can get here in time."

"Well, whatever the odds or the outcome, we will fight together." Her leg tightened on his protectively.

"The Wraith don't stand a chance then." He said playfully, rubbing his hands up and down her supple back.

Teyla thought to reply, but his kiss prevented it. It looked like she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. Ah, well, what else was new? At least it was more pleasant than Wraith induced nightmares.

"Again?" she asked with mock incredulity

"And again," John purred sexily, "and again," his kisses became more passionate. "And..."

Eventually, there was nothing left to say.

* * *

EPILOGUE

Looking back on the events of the last month, Teyla found it hard to believe that things turned out as well as they did. Not only did they defeat the armada of Wraith ships, due to John's brilliant out of the box thinking, they ensured they wouldn't be bothered for a long time to come.

Very few of her people lost their lives in the fight, only the missing Aiden Ford could mar the hopeful outlook for the future. The city had full power, and more help - she couldn't ask for anything more.

It was difficult for Teyla to be separated from John when he made the trip to his home, but there was no way for her to have gone with him. Atlantis department heads only, no exceptions. Besides, if his weekly communications back to Atlantis were any indication, she could look forward to a very passion starved warrior when he returned. In fact he mentioned something about not letting her out of bed for two days.

That was definitely a good way to look at their forced separation. And after all, she'd learned, it was always healthy to have another perspective.

END


End file.
